April PAD Challenge: Day 12

My sons are keeping me busy this morning, so let’s get straight into the prompt.  We’re going to write an apology poem.  You can apologize for ending a relationship, breaking a chair, or maybe you can even apologize for not being apologetic. 

Here’s my poem for the day:

“. . . I’m sorry”

 “Because the world is round, it turns me on.”
                           -The Beatles, “Because”

Because the day was nice. . . 
Because I opened the window. . . 
Because I left for a run. . . 
Because there was an unexpected shower. . . 
Because the birds were driven inside. . . 
Because the rain followed them in. . . 
Because I decided to splash through puddles. . . 
Because you beat me home. . .
                            

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179 thoughts on “April PAD Challenge: Day 12

  1. Tanja Cilia

    Mind Your Language!

    Lost amongst my acres of knowledge
    And mounds of books
    I’m a mere academic
    Trying to make sense of life
    And love.
    I own a mellifluous mountain
    Of meandering meaningless words and
    I mouth them
    When the moment arises.
    I cannot tell the difference between
    Patois, idiolect, jargon, dialect,
    Idiom, argot, and slang… and gobbledygook…
    Or colloquialism… or waffle and claptrap.
    I care not for ephemeral sounds;
    I’m sorry; I don’t speak your vernacular.

  2. S.E. Ingraham

    Sorry – It Couldn’t Be Helped

    Dear William

    I’m so sorry
    I lied
    I did
    I really didn’t know
    What else
    To do
    The cops insisted
    Their hands were tied
    That night you were out of control
    Again
    At Mom’s
    Unless you really hurt someone
    They couldn’t make you leave
    They said
    I asked you to come outside
    With me
    Tried to get you to hit me
    Hard
    But you were too drunk
    They told Mom and me to leave
    To be safe
    We had to leave her house
    Not you
    Us
    I’m sorry
    But that was so screwed up
    I knew they wouldn’t help her
    And they wouldn’t get help for you
    Even though that’s really what you needed
    No – they wouldn’t do anything
    Until you really hurt someone –
    Or worse
    And then
    Of course
    They’d lock you up
    Forever
    Or at least
    Long enough
    Til you’d hurt yourself
    I knew how you felt about being caged
    Right
    I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with something better
    I hated having to lie to you
    I hated that I had to go back out west
    Where I lived
    But I did
    I was afraid that as soon as I left
    You’d hurt Mom
    You were such a mean drunk
    For such a normally nice guy
    You had total blackouts though
    So – I took advantage
    And I lied, I lied, I lied
    I’m sorry
    When we met at the White Spot
    That day
    I looked you right in the eyes
    And without tears or conscience
    I lied
    I told you the cops were after you
    That they’d sworn out an APB for you
    And that you had to leave the province
    Immediately
    And never come back
    Ever
    I told you if you ever came back to Ontario
    They’d lock you up
    And throw away the key
    I know I’m the only person
    You ever trusted
    I know that
    You didn’t even ask me what you’d done
    Just accepted that you had to leave
    I don’t think you even talked to anyone
    Just hitched a ride out of T.O.
    And kept going ‘til you got to B.C.
    And stayed there
    For twenty years
    And never saw any of us again
    I’m so sorry
    So sorry
    You have no idea
    I’m not asking for forgiveness
    I just need you to know
    I’m sorry.
    Love Sis

  3. S.E. Ingraham

    Sorry – It Couldn’t Be Helped

    Dear William

    I’m so sorry
    I lied
    I did
    I really didn’t know
    What else
    To do
    The cops insisted
    Their hands were tied
    That night you were out of control
    Again
    At Mom’s
    Unless you really hurt someone
    They couldn’t make you leave
    They said
    I asked you to come outside
    With me
    Tried to get you to hit me
    Hard
    But you were too drunk
    They told Mom and me to leave
    To be safe
    We had to leave her house
    Not you
    Us
    I’m sorry
    But that was so screwed up
    I knew they wouldn’t help her
    And they wouldn’t get help for you
    Even though that’s really what you needed
    No – they wouldn’t do anything
    Until you really hurt someone –
    Or worse
    And then
    Of course
    They’d lock you up
    Forever
    Or at least
    Long enough
    Til you’d hurt yourself
    I knew how you felt about being caged
    Right
    I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with something better
    I hated having to lie to you
    I hated that I had to go back out west
    Where I lived
    But I did
    I was afraid that as soon as I left
    You’d hurt Mom
    You were such a mean drunk
    For such a normally nice guy
    You had total blackouts though
    So – I took advantage
    And I lied, I lied, I lied
    I’m sorry
    When we met at the White Spot
    That day
    I looked you right in the eyes
    And without tears or conscience
    I lied
    I told you the cops were after you
    That they’d sworn out an APB for you
    And that you had to leave the province
    Immediately
    And never come back
    Ever
    I told you if you ever came back to Ontario
    They’d lock you up
    And throw away the key
    I know I’m the only person
    You ever trusted
    I know that
    You didn’t even ask me what you’d done
    Just accepted that you had to leave
    I don’t think you even talked to anyone
    Just hitched a ride out of T.O.
    And kept going ‘til you got to B.C.
    And stayed there
    For twenty years
    And never saw any of us again
    I’m so sorry
    So sorry
    You have no idea
    I’m not asking for forgiveness
    I just need you to know
    I’m sorry.
    Love Sis

  4. S.E. Ingraham

    Sorry – It Couldn’t Be Helped

    Dear William

    I’m so sorry
    I lied
    I did
    I really didn’t know
    What else
    To do
    The cops insisted
    Their hands were tied
    That night you were out of control
    Again
    At Mom’s
    Unless you really hurt someone
    They couldn’t make you leave
    They said
    I asked you to come outside
    With me
    Tried to get you to hit me
    Hard
    But you were too drunk
    They told Mom and me to leave
    To be safe
    We had to leave her house
    Not you
    Us
    I’m sorry
    But that was so screwed up
    I knew they wouldn’t help her
    And they wouldn’t get help for you
    Even though that’s really what you needed
    No – they wouldn’t do anything
    Until you really hurt someone –
    Or worse
    And then
    Of course
    They’d lock you up
    Forever
    Or at least
    Long enough
    Til you’d hurt yourself
    I knew how you felt about being caged
    Right
    I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with something better
    I hated having to lie to you
    I hated that I had to go back out west
    Where I lived
    But I did
    I was afraid that as soon as I left
    You’d hurt Mom
    You were such a mean drunk
    For such a normally nice guy
    You had total blackouts though
    So – I took advantage
    And I lied, I lied, I lied
    I’m sorry
    When we met at the White Spot
    That day
    I looked you right in the eyes
    And without tears or conscience
    I lied
    I told you the cops were after you
    That they’d sworn out an APB for you
    And that you had to leave the province
    Immediately
    And never come back
    Ever
    I told you if you ever came back to Ontario
    They’d lock you up
    And throw away the key
    I know I’m the only person
    You ever trusted
    I know that
    You didn’t even ask me what you’d done
    Just accepted that you had to leave
    I don’t think you even talked to anyone
    Just hitched a ride out of T.O.
    And kept going ‘til you got to B.C.
    And stayed there
    For twenty years
    And never saw any of us again
    I’m so sorry
    So sorry
    You have no idea
    I’m not asking for forgiveness
    I just need you to know
    I’m sorry.
    Love Sis

  5. Hope Greene

    Apology

    You’d like to know why I shot you a bell.
    I’ll tell you, I don’t like it either, but
    Well-I think we didn’t gel for a lot of reasons.
    The cinder blocks were one (though that was before you)-
    I don’t know. I thought you were having fun,
    You were always a better person than me.
    No? Alright. It’s my arm, you see?
    My withered arm form my womb
    Days that my mom says she can’t remember-
    It’s kind of a haze. It’s hard
    For me too, ok? We knew
    You were better than her and she ran so
    That’s why I had to pin you down-
    Yes. Alright. Literally, but if I
    Hadn’t you’d never have let me
    Haul into our wedding two hours late
    Or stay at Joe’s to rate the skanks
    Or to plant my cigarette butts in your hands.
    But what I really called to say is that
    I’m dying.
    And my disabled status has got us
    The charity of the state. Our son
    Will get a lump sum from the government
    To clear my child support outstanding
    From the past nine and something years.
    Take with the understanding that from here
    You and I and the boy are clear.

  6. Kate Miller

    Apology to Mom

    "I feel so diminished," my mother says to me
    over the phone. I imagine her sitting in her
    rocker beside the window in her room, Snickers
    the cat in her lap. Her life has been reduced
    to 400 square feet, her days regimented under some-
    one else’s schedule: meal time, medication time,
    shower time, bed time, someone who likes residents
    in bed early and up early-where is the Assisted Living
    for night owls? My brother finally sold the car she
    often forgot to drive, yet she doesn’t forget the freedom
    it represents. "When I buy another car" she says,
    "when I move back to my house.” Daily she mourns
    the life we’ve been steadily chipping away at, but
    at home she was forgetting to eat, to drink, even
    to go out of the house. Here she is safe and fed.
    “It’s like living in college dorms again, Mom,”
    I said. We both know the lie behind the analogy.
    It doesn’t signal beginnings, doors opening, freedom,
    but the beginning of the end, doors that will close,
    one by one, until the end. Forgive me.

  7. Sarah

    Apology
    I’m sorry for the skys of grey
    that linger on from day to day
    but without rain
    upon our lives
    we cannot truly
    appreciate
    the SUN!

  8. Laurie Kolp

    I’m Sorry

    I’m sorry
    I could not help her
    as I was trying to do.
    Stop the drink,
    give up the pills,
    go to a meeting, or two.
    I’m sorry
    she did not listen
    to God’s voice,
    calling within
    to do His will,
    let go of the past,
    help others
    instead.
    I’m sorry.

  9. LindaTK

    Day 12
    Apology

    I’m Sorry

    For being preoccupied throughout your childhoods
    For the times that I lost my patience
    For my choices in men
    For the times that I wasn’t there for you
    For the lack of money
    For my lack of energy
    For the hours that I put into my work
    instead of you
    For my many mistakes
    I loved you
    I honestly did
    I still do
    Forgive me if you can

  10. Karen Masteller

    Surrounding me is early morning silence
    While stirring inside of me is daily confession-
    My necessary apology to God in my pre-dawn prayers.
    Prophetically I say I’m sorry for my day yet lived.

    Dear Heavenly Father,
    I confess my self-centered ways.
    I’m sorry I’m insensitive to others’ struggles and needs.

    I confess my jealous heart.
    I’m sorry I don’t easily applaud the success of others.

    I confess my critical spirit.
    I’m sorry I take life for granted and don’t count blessings
    instead.

    Your word says I must take up the cross daily and follow You
    So I nail all the nasty stuff there
    And then live my day forgiven and directed by You.
    May my day’s words and actions prove my morning apology wrong.

  11. Raven

    Really

    words spoken harshly
    lies told
    forgiveness given freely
    taken stolen
    years drained away
    smashed and broken
    lives destroyed
    twisted corrupted
    i am so sorry
    i ever met you

    by TK Kietero

  12. tara

    I apologize for my heart
    That takes flight on
    The backs of hens
    When night approaches
    Next morning it will
    Be up crowing like a
    Rooster; but when danger
    Stalks it scatters.

  13. Lin Neiswender

    A Moment, Please

    I apologize
    For writing this bad poem
    I don’t know any better
    You understand
    I’m just compelled
    To pick up a pen and
    Spill my guts untidily
    On the page
    Sorry for the intrusion
    Into your reality
    It will be over
    In a moment

  14. Lynn

    Playing catch up…

    I’m sorry…

    "I’m sorry" can never undo
    the things that I have done,
    the family I stole from you
    when you were very young.

    I know that I can never explain
    or make you understand.
    I cannot take away your pain.
    I can only hold your hand.

    If I could do it over again,
    I’d put your needs before mine.
    Our family wouldn’t have suffered then…
    Everything would be fine.

  15. Sheryl Kay Oder

    Bonnie, how I identify with that poem. It made me laugh out loud.

    There aret so many wonderful, heartfelt, and thoughtful poems today. Some of these are simply amazing.

  16. Bonnie

    I’M SORRY . . . BUT IT’S APRIL

    I’m sorry the house is a mess
    There’s no food on the table
    But I will fix something to eat
    Just as soon as I am able

    I’m sorry the car is out of gas
    Clothes are piled high on the bed
    I’ve not had time to pay the bills
    And the cat has not been fed

    There is no toothpaste in the tube
    No clean socks for you to wear
    There is no butter for your bread
    No shampoo for your hair

    See, I have goal that I must to write
    In April, a poem each day
    But don’t divorce me me yet, my dear
    I’ll straighten things back up in May

  17. M Schied

    Regret

    You say, I don’t listen
    You say, I don’t understand
    You say, I’ve never appreciated your hurt
    You say, I don’t honor your family
    You say, I can’t appreciate your worth
    You say, You can’t love me
    I say, I do
    But it’s too late

  18. Barbara Malcolm

    Apology

    Sorry.
    How sorry do you have to be
    to say it?
    How much do you have
    to mean it?
    I learned many years ago
    that accepting the blame
    and apologizing
    often so disconcerts
    the offended one that
    punishment is less
    or even nonexistent.
    Say “I’m sorry” and
    really mean it,
    watch your stress
    disappear.

  19. Robin Morris

    Apology

    I am sorry to have wasted so much of the world’s time with my aimless chatter like some drunk lady with too many bags asking the video clerk if she can use the bathroom and making sure she is as amusing as possible so he will let her even though she is a bit seedy but you know this is a bus stop so it’s reasonable but on the other hand, there’s a bathroom at the stop and shop and no one there will question your right to use it, but my opinion doesn’t matter: he smiles and gives her the key and we take out our video. As I was saying, I am not quite that remiss in social niceties and thanks to my late father have not had to completely rely on the kindness of strangers and yet I do feel that I do not earn my right to exist. My spotty employment record kicks me in the teeth each time social security sends me their updates informing me how laughingly little I will get when I come of the next age that I am rapidly approaching with nothing to show for it but a face that says botox this, I dare you. I am sorry Time, that I have let you pass. There was nothing else I could do and yet I regret it.

    (PS and I’m sorry this is post due.)

  20. Amanda Caldwell

    Just to lighten the mood, this is the first one I wrote for the prompt, after my object prompt poem the day before about a calculator was an utter waste. (I didn’t bother posting it, so don’t bother looking…)

    Bad Poem

    I’m sorry I wrote such a crap poem last night.
    If we make allowances, excuses are plenty:
    I was tired in the way that nothing seems possible,
    and only sleep can cure that certainty.
    And at least I wrote a poem, when my initial desire
    was to excuse myself for a day in toto.
    What was one day, after all, compared to
    a month’s worth of poems?
    Instead I let my bad judgment, depression, ennui,
    whatever we want to term it,
    craft a terrible poem
    that stands out in a line of admirable drafts
    like a canker, not worth rereading,
    much less revising.

    For that, I am sorry:
    that I missed my chance to run with that prompt,
    but more —
    that I lost a day to enjoy writing a poem.

    I should mention I’m sorry for this one as well.

  21. Amanda Caldwell

    This prompt was so beautiful and wrenching, both to write and to read. You all have been so honest and open, and I cried reading these poems (in a good way).

    Object Lesson

    My little boy,
    I really do love you.
    I look at you sleeping at night,
    or in the carseat through the back glass,
    or at the screensaver slideshow starring your greatest moments,
    or my laptop’s wallpaper featuring your smile,
    or I hear you giggle and watch you clap,
    or I make a face at your dad while you screech and spaz,
    and even then, even then,
    I know I was meant for this.
    You were meant for me,
    and I want to be your mom.

    So please forgive
    the words you don’t yet understand,
    the ones I will have to leave unsaid
    whenever you comprehend as well as hear.
    I have wanted people to know
    that there is more than joy
    in being a mother,
    that there is frustration
    and regret,
    strain on a marriage,
    lack of sleep, lack of time, lack of joy.
    This is not the sum of parenthood,
    but they are integers nonetheless,
    unspoken by some,
    and I wanted to be the one
    to speak the darkness
    as everyone else
    insists on light.

    But you are not an object lesson;
    you are a living being,
    not choosing to be born,
    but choosing now to live.
    And words I say to others
    might affect you as you grow,
    if they see you as less than worthy
    of my respect and love.
    So I affirm your being just as you are
    and will deemphasize the drain
    and reconnect with pleasure.

    This is not to sound defensive.
    But I really do love you.

  22. Cari

    Doing some catching up today! it’s been a busy month!!

    If I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn’t have done what I did.
    Sounds round a bout and vague, yes, but I am embarresed by my behavior as a teenager. Aren’t you?
    I hurt my friends with words. What awful things kids say. I killed friendships that may have lasted a lifetime.
    Although I’m not sure I am the only one to blame, I can only speak for myself, so…
    three simple words that could have rectified things years ago, but pride got in the way, so…
    I want to say…
    I am sorry

  23. Carol A Stephen

    Thought I put this up days ago too…

    Apology

    for now regretted words said
    in the fire of anger,

    for impatience, consequence
    of being Aries,

    for neglecting friends
    for speaking without thought

    for using words to hurt
    when I am hurt

    for having expectations,
    for anger when they are not met.

    for hoping that you could love me
    given time.

    I’m sorry.

  24. Justin M. Howe

    You looked at me in shocked astonishment
    hitting my heart like super-charged defibrillation
    What day is it?
    What’s the date?
    Worst screw up ever
    Becoming a cliché
    Like a bad sitcom
    No way to recover
    I love you so much
    There was so much going on
    Days blending together
    No excuse
    Can’t blame you
    I can’t believe
    I forgot

    birthday

    sorry?

    I can’t say I’m sorry
    and think that’s the end
    I’m supposed to
    adore you
    cherish you
    worship you
    You are the center of my universe
    somehow my orbit got askew
    Life happens doesn’t cut it
    I want to be worthy of you
    I want to cherish you
    I do worship you

    You inspire me
    Yet I let you down

    Again

    I’m not worthy to love you
    yet I do
    I’m not worthy of your love
    yet you still say you love me

    I adore you
    I will cherish you
    I will worship you

    It’s what you deserve
    It’s what I will do

    Don’t worry

    Ball’s in my court

    I won’t let you down

    I promise

    I’m sorry…

  25. priya

    there’s always a reason isn’t there?

    i’ve breathed wrong,
    or said the wrong thing,
    or didn’t do a thing the way i should have.

    sometimes it’s as if i feel like it
    when i haven’t done anything at all
    to deserve it.

    maybe it’s my way of repenting
    against all the ones i should be helping
    that i’m not helping,
    against all the mistakes that i’ve ever made.

    maybe i just feel it and then try so hard
    to come up with a reason why, just

    why

    and even after all of that is done,

    for myself,

    i end up feeling

    sorry.

  26. AlaskanRC

    Trying to play catch up today. So here is my for Day 12.

    Momma is supportive
    yet there is worry in her eyes;
    a mirror image of my own.
    "I’ve always known you’d grow up
    and leave home," she says.
    We known this is true it’s the way life
    is but not quite in the way I have chose.

    Pappa is distant now
    he no longer seems to see me.
    For he realizes his oldest daughter
    is no longer his little girl.
    She’s heading out on her own.
    "You’ve signed away your life,"
    he says with little inflection.

    Yes, that may be true
    in a time of great conflict
    but it’s something I had to choose.
    Please support my choice and pray.
    "I’m sorry momma and pappa," I say.
    Dressed in Army Greens.

  27. Lyn

    Hollow apologies make me shiver
    When every word and action is questioned
    Public defense is avoiding self-incrimination
    I’m done saying ‘sorry’ for not being politically correct
    When unintentional and even the truth offends
    I refuse to tremble and quiver
    Sincere apologies I reserve
    For those I love and those who deserve

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