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April PAD Challenge: Day 27

Categories: Personal Updates, Poetry Challenge 2008, Poetry Prompts.

Well, we’re working our way closer to the end. After we finish today’s prompt, only three days will separate us from finishing this April PAD Challenge. On May 1, I plan to give a recap of the month and some details of how we can keep this community going beyond April. Something to keep an eye on.

Today’s prompt is to write a poem that is only one-half of a two-person conversation, or what I like to call the “one side of a phone line” poem. I’m not even sure how well this is going to work out, but every once in a while, it’s good to stretch ourselves and experiment a little.

While you could just get to typing one side of a conversation, it might be a good idea to write down some dialogue and then, cut out the person who is the least interesting. Anyway, as with all the prompts, be sure to have fun with this one.

Here’s my poem for the day:

“Really?!?”

Hello?
Oh. It’s you.
I didn’t mean.
Whatever. Why did you call anyway?
Really?!?
He’s a fool. Doesn’t he–
Well, yeah!
Obviously.
He doesn’t ever listen, and he’s going to learn–
Really?
That’s so–
I don’t understand.
Oh. Well, yeah. If that’s the case, then–
Better to just leave him on the side of the road.
Sometimes, you just gotta get tough.
No, really.
Next time he–
Well, next time he–
Okay. Call me back later then. I’ve got a lot more to say on him.
Yeah, bye.

 

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About Robert Lee Brewer

Senior Content Editor, Writer's Digest Community.

164 Responses to April PAD Challenge: Day 27

  1. Jay Sizemore says:

    Talking to mirrors

    It’s not that bad,
    give yourself some time.
    Don’t look so sad.

    You have lost
    a lot of weight,
    and it shows,
    I can see the bones
    in the cheeks
    of your face.
    Maybe you should
    see a doctor?

    Smile for a change,
    you need more confidence,
    no one hates you
    as much as you think.

    Maybe you should
    cut your hair.

    You’re not listening
    are you?

  2. Linda Hofke says:

    some bored kid TELLS me

    AAARGGHH! I am a typing accident waiting to happen!

  3. Linda Hofke says:

    In my poem Bad Phone Calls please change the ending to:

    but when the phone rings
    and some bored kid tell me
    that my cat is on his fence
    I answer "but I don’t have a cat",
    then after the punch line I hang up,
    stroke kitty’s fur
    and grin.

  4. Walk away
    Put on your hiking boots and stroll
    Don’t look back
    Leave
    She is not your champion
    Lord knows we need a champion
    Sure she has the title
    The credentials
    The military credence
    but
    Every ending has a beginning
    Leave
    Whatever you do
    do something different
    get a new job
    a new profession
    follow your passion
    but quit

  5. Lorien Vidal says:

    Yves can’t make it.
    Well, I’ll be around New Rochelle tomorrow or Yorktown.
    One of those.
    Well, I don’t know yet – she gives me my schedule in the A.M., so whatever.
    I’ll be able to be there before 12.
    Uh-huh, ok.
    ‘Tweren’t nothin’.

  6. M. Schied says:

    Telephonic palaver

    Hello?
    Hi!
    Yes, but she’s in the middle of cooking part of the dinner.
    Spaghetti and meatballs.
    She’s just sticking the garlic bread in the oven.
    She bought the rosemary kind, can I
    No, ok.
    Well, it will be awhile, we are
    Really, that bad?
    (Clang!!!)
    No, just the dogs sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
    I’m kidding, I’m just joking!
    Ok, so we need to think about coming up that weekend.
    Are you in it?
    They’re in costume?
    What, James Cagney in a Pillsbury doughboy outfit?!
    Oh, alright, I understand now.
    Well, I’m not sure it will be
    Yes, we do have to go that
    No, they won’t be able to replace me
    You know, I do have commitments still
    Yes.
    Maybe.
    We’ll see.
    Talk to you later.
    Love you.

  7. Doggie-Dialing

    Beep. beep beep.
    Beep beep beep beep.
    splusndhugwtugug.
    Beep.
    shslushnhhgshjg.
    grrrrrrrrrr.

  8. Sarah says:

    "Law offices of Dewy, Cheatum and Howe…how may I direct your call?"
    …(laughter)"how’s your day going?"
    …"fine"
    …"the kids are down for a nap and though I’d like to do the same,
    I decided to make better use of my time and write down this rhyme"
    …"I have no plans for tonight, unless you have something you’d like to do"
    …"okay I’ll see you later. love ya, bye."

  9. Mike Padg says:

    Were it the cry?
    I am unsure
    Was it I?
    I think not
    Then what was?
    You think so?
    She does

    Were it the crew?
    the sound from below?
    Can you say?
    I don’t know
    It came to the top
    Were you here?
    Will it stop?
    Why not?

    Were it the ship?
    Can’t say
    Don’t fit
    Then what?
    No way
    Can’t be
    We’re stuck

    Were it the sea?
    I do not know
    Does she?
    What luck
    She does
    Know we’re stuck?
    No more?
    Much less
    yuck

  10. KP says:

    RING
    Come over right now!
    It’s 2 in the morning!
    Are you awake?
    Can you drive?
    She can’t breathe!
    We’re going to the emergency room!
    We need you to watch the kids!
    She woke up and couldn’t breathe!
    I don’t know!
    We can’t leave!
    No, I’m driving!
    Come watch the kids!
    CLICK

  11. A.C. Leming says:

    Posted first on day 29, when I caught up from the weekend trip.

    Doctor’s Visit

    In here, Tina. I want to show her what she broke.
    Yes, it is. I called the orthopedist and he said THAT is what we’d put on you.
    Yeah, saves you money. There’s really no way to put a cast on it. It’s a baby break.
    That tiny bit of bone there.
    As far as your profession goes, no massage for at least two weeks. Ibuprofen and ice for pain.
    Any other questions?
    Call me if you need any meds.
    Have a nice day.

  12. AlaskanRC says:

    A Childs’ Fears

    What is it baby?
    I’ve told, he’s gone to training for now…
    Hey…baby why you crying.
    No’s not gone-gone.
    He’ll be back-please stop crying
    He will.
    Postive
    and when he get’s back we’ll be together again.

    I seem to always be playing cath up lol. Here is my conversation poem that is based on a realistic conversation I continue to have with my daughter ever since my S.O. shipped to basic training.

  13. tim says:

    he never did go home again

    brother
    doing well, just kicking with the kids
    you back at mom’s
    good
    good visit with grandma
    hmm
    what did i do today
    brother, i took you to lunch
    we went to that noodle place
    (please remember)
    you had the terriyaki, then we went to grandmas
    the lunch was okay
    i know
    oh- screaming kid
    gotta go
    love you
    see you in the next couple days – yeah, if you don’t home.

  14. Carol A Stephen says:

    The Usual Conversation

    Hard day at work today.
    Did you feed the…?
    Did you eat the…?
    What’s up with that?
    Can I ask a question?
    Of course it’s important!
    No, it can’t wait till the commercial!
    Ok! Ok!
    Oh, so the commercial is on?
    Nah, I can’t remember now,
    but it was important!

  15. Curiosity vs. cat

    What do you see?
    What do you see there?
    What is it?
    Is it the kitty?
    Is it Luna cat?
    Do you see Luna kitty?
    Oh, I don’t think so.
    I don’t think Luna kitty
    wants you to pet her.
    Soft, soft. Flat hand.
    Uh-oh.
    Bye, bye, kitty.

  16. Kate says:

    Reunion, Almost

    Yes, that’s me.
    What did you say your name was?
    No, I don’t think so…
    Well, that was a long time ago….
    She never said anything to me about…
    But, to be truthful, I did suspect…there were signs.
    Yes, there’s my younger brother…
    I don’t think he knew anything at the time.
    I remember when she went away…
    I have to admit I hoped you might call someday.
    No, I’m so sorry; she died a year and a half ago….
    Yes, yes of course.
    I think she would have wanted that.
    I’ll look forward to hearing from you then.
    Goodbye, sister.

  17. Karen says:

    4-27-08

    Phone Fun

    Hello.
    Aisley, is that you?
    What are you doing, girl?
    Going to the park after preschool? What fun!
    You made a butterfly today?
    Yes, I would love to talk to Grantland.
    Hey, boy. What’s going on?
    You did?
    Where is the caterpillar now?
    But you’ll let it out of the box when you get home.
    Good. ‘Cause I bet it would like some leaves to eat
    Before it turns into a butterfly.
    Skylar did what? Wait, I can’t understand you.
    Oh, she played the fluteaphone?
    Was she scared?
    I’m glad. I know she practiced hard.
    Sure, I’ll talk to Mommy.
    Hey, Cherie.
    I know. Toney-Paite did great after the first night.
    You must be worn out from the time change,
    But Hawaii—so glad you got to go.
    Have fun at the park.
    I love you, too. Bye.

  18. Marcus Smith says:

    You did what?

    Is he…?
    Oh My God!
    Was there a lot of blood?
    I told you to be careful, to be ready
    But no…
    What?
    Yes I did! I told you to be careful,
    like a million, no a ga-zillion times
    Where did it happen?
    Under the bleachers?
    Is it bad…I mean the scratch?
    And your first kiss…
    Was it dreamy?

  19. Carol -Amherst, Mass says:

    Phone Conversation – One Half
    (with the word ‘hung’ spelled correctly)

    This is Carol……
    I told you not to call
    me at work!
    I don’t care…
    I’m going to get
    Fired.
    Clunk

    Ting a ling. Ting a ling.
    This is Ca….
    (thinning lips)
    No, we cannot
    get takeout!
    Stop cal…..
    I realize that,
    You need to sto…
    (Little jerk hung up on me)

    Ting a ling. Ting a……
    WHAT !!
    (no lips left – just teeth)
    You feel faint?
    Then call 911
    and DON’T call
    me again!!!!
    Clunk!

  20. Carol -Amherst, Mass says:

    Phone Conversation – One Half

    This is Carol……
    I told you not to call
    me at work!
    I don’t care…
    I’m going to get
    Fired.
    Clunk

    Ting a ling. Ting a ling.
    This is Ca….
    (thinning lips)
    No, we cannot
    get takeout!
    Stop cal…..
    I realize that,
    You need to sto…
    (Little jerk jung up on me)

    Ting a ling. Ting a……
    WHAT !!
    (no lips left – just teeth)
    You feel faint?
    Then call 911
    and DON’T call
    me again!!!!
    Clunk!

  21. Carol -Amherst, Mass says:

    I’m pretty far behind here.

    Joe, I loved both of your poems. I can relate to the ‘No means ‘no’ – Carol

  22. Phone Call From Miley Cyrus (fiction)

    (ring ring)
    Hello?
    (Hi! Is this Emily Osment?)
    No. You’ve got the wrong number.
    (Oh.)
    Wait! How do you know Emily Osment?
    (I’m Miley Cyrus!)
    No, seriously?
    (Seriously!)
    *squeals*
    (Uh…)
    I’m a big fan! Make Some Noise was genius!
    (Riiight…Gotta go bye!)
    Wait!
    (*hangs up*)
    Daaaaang!

  23. Yoli says:

    As Usual

    Hi, sweetie!
    Nothing. What are you doing? How’s work?
    Oh, that’s good. Keeps you busy.
    It makes the day go by faster!
    What – ever!
    Yeah, right.
    Yeah, okay. What…
    Whatever!
    You’re such an ass!
    Who’s your brother yelling at?
    Oh!
    Yeah, I know! He’s gotta talk to you like you’re standing across the street.
    I know.
    Ha ha… what happened?
    She’s there? Awww!
    I haven’t seen her in so long! Give her kisses for me.
    What?
    Oh, okay.
    You mean you gotta go play with her now.
    Alright there, povero!
    Call me later.
    Bye.

  24. ck says:

    The Right Thing

    Oh yeah, and by the way, I’d like to withdraw
    My provision to include my bonus income
    Which apparently is….

    I mean, how absurd is this to sue me over ninety dollars
    a month when I’ve already volunteered more than that
    already. It’s absurd. I’m not a dead-beat dad.

    So I said, if that’s how you’re going to be
    I’d like to withdraw my offer
    to have bonus income included.
    And I just responded to piss her off.

    This is what I get for trying to be nice?
    For trying to be nice,
    For trying to be nice…
    For trying.
    All a sudden I’m getting the additional ten grand
    And I’m the stupid one who’s getting ripped off.

    Don’t ask me why I offer these things,
    Why I volunteer these things.
    Am I stupid? I don’t want to short my kids for sure.
    But I don’t want her to be getting my money
    to enjoy for her own discretionary spending
    and not on my kids.

    This is what I get for doing the right thing.

  25. Khara House says:

    "Jeez, Lou, not again."

    Hello?
    Oh, yeah, hey—
    Great, I—
    Sure, I—
    No, I—
    Really? Sure. You what?
    You what?
    You WHAT?
    Jeez, Lou—
    Lou? Hello?
    I said—
    Hello?
    Lou?
    Hey, it’s me I think we—
    No, I—
    No, I—
    No, the phone—
    I what?
    I what?
    I WHAT?
    Jeez, Lou, you—
    Hello? Lou?
    Hello? Yeah, it’s me.
    No, I’m sorry. Well, let’s both be sorry.
    Sure. Well call me first next time before you—
    No, I’m—
    No, I—
    Okay, fine, we’re both sorry.
    No, sorry.
    No, SORRY!
    Yeah, whatever, bye, Lou . . .

  26. Shana says:

    One-sided

    Not much, just hanging out.

    Yeah?

    Of what?

    Wow.

    Yeah, I don’t know.

    I think you have to want it. To work for it. You have to care. To act accordingly.

    Yeah, I don’t know. So many of these fucking kids just don’t care. And I blame the parents. We’re mostly sheep. Just consuming. Not contributing. Not thinking. It’s just wrong.

    I don’t think you do.

  27. lyn says:

    I’m mute until I see the loot
    It’s not deception, it’s wait and see
    Yes. Well after that I’ll speak my mind
    Too late, I’ll have already cashed in on the bonus

  28. Paige says:

    Better late then never as the saying goes

    THIS SIDE OF CONVERSATION

    You see them repeatedly
    Walking, wandering
    Streets and alleyways
    Reclined on park benches
    Standing on curbs
    Even in elevators or doorways
    Making a fist
    Jabbing air making a point
    Spouting off eccentric lists
    Laughing – crying
    Speaking – yelling
    Out loud for all to hear
    Bluetooth — Schizophrenia
    Conversations of catatonia

  29. Terri says:

    Yes, we went to the party.
    They had a wine cellar!
    Well, sure I drank some.
    Yeah, ma I know alcoholism runs in the family.
    Yes, Yes, I know its hereditary.
    No, ma I just had a couple glasses.
    No, ma I wouldn’t lie to you.
    Yes, we are still going to Peru.
    Yes, ma I know you will worry.
    No, ma I won’t get lost.
    Really? They kidnap women there huh?
    Yeah, I know people get altitude sickness.
    They have to coca leaf drink that helps.
    Um, I don’t know if it has alcohol in it ma.
    Yes, ma I know it runs in the family.

  30. Terri says:

    Hey, did you call me earlier?
    Sorry, I got busy.
    Had lunch with my son. Got to meet his girlfriend.
    She’s very sweet, very pretty.
    hmmm,what?
    Yeah, a frog.
    Very comical looking
    with his hand on this chin like he’s thinking–
    He’s in the garden.
    Not as cute as that flying pig we saw.
    I told you, no.
    No, we don’t need anything.
    We just want you at our wedding.
    Don’t yadda, Yadda me girl.
    Yeah, she said you can ride with her.
    Yeah, I’ll give you her number.
    Let me look it up.
    I’ll put you on hold. If I lose you I’ll call you back.
    Oops!
    Hello? Hello?

  31. Maureen says:

    Prompt: ‘one side of conversation’ poem.

    LESSONS IN DRAMA

    I’ve just come to apologise.

    Oh, okay … Well, I’m really sorry I had to cancel our dinner date. I didn’t want to cancel, but mum wasn’t well and I needed to go around there and be with her.

    Yes, I did.

    What do you mean, what about you?

    Of course you matter, but mum was sick, I mean … she needed me.

    Well you didn’t tell me that you needed me there. Why did you need me?

    But that’s hardly a need, and it’s not the same as someone who’s very ill.

    It’s not that she’s more important than you, but her need was greater.

    Yes, but she’s my mother.

    Well you’re both equally important to me.

    What? You want me to choose between you and my dying mother.

    I’m not being dramatic!

    Okay then – goodbye!!

    © Maureen Sexton

  32. Hello?
    No seriously, who is this?
    You’re serious?

    I knew it!
    Thank you, thank you so much!

    OK.
    Ok.
    I understand that.
    Right.

    Ok, take it easy.
    Bye.

    Ah! I should have said…

    -Justin M. Howe

  33. Half a Phone Call.

    He came to see me, you know.
    Knocked on the door one day.
    I was in bed with the worst flu.
    I dragged myself to the door.

    I was pleased to see him,
    I really was. But my legs ached.
    I had to go back to bed
    and talk to him from there.

    No, he wouldn’t mention that;
    too wrapped up in himself.
    I had to bribe Amy to see him.
    ‘Find out if he’s changed,’ I said.

    She didn’t seem to think he had,
    but I don’t know what they said.
    Oh he did? We like it, otherwise
    we would have done something else.

    Yes, he does that. He tried
    to do it to us too. I don’t know
    how to say this, but he’s the most
    manipulative person I ever met.

    He’s quite ruthless. I wonder who
    he learned that from? It’s as if he went
    and trained in those techniques. Where
    do you study brainwashing, though?

    Do you think he’s crazy? No,
    I don’t see you that way. I think he’s
    more autistic than you – the lack
    of compassion. You’re not like that.

    He’s like a sort of cult leader. Oh dear,
    I hope he never gets any power
    over people’s minds! He’s also very good
    at making people love him.

    Don’t get me wrong, it was really nice
    to see him, for a while. I was glad
    he came, and I was glad when he went.
    I feel deep affection for him.

    © Rosemary Nissen-Wade 2008

  34. This one was hard. I’m glad I finally remembered a call I had many years ago…

    How To Get on Their Do-Not-Call List

    Hello?
    This is she.
    Well, my day? It hasn’t been so hot.
    First my house burned down,
    then my cat died, and I lost my job,
    and now I’m getting calls from
    someone wanting to sell me insurance.
    Yeah, not so helpful at this point,
    if you know what I mean.

  35. Bonnie says:

    Hello.
    Yes, this is Bonnie Holbrook.
    Yes, I guess. I’m always entering contests.
    You’ve got to be kidding.
    I can’t believe it.
    I’ve never won anything in my life.
    Oh yes.
    I just can’t believe it.
    Yes, yes, of course.
    And that’s two weeks for two to any where in the world?
    My husband will be so excited.
    You need my social security number? Why?
    But you already have my name and phone number shouldn’t that confirm who I am?s
    Oh, well. Okay. I guess it’ll be alright. The number is 123-45-6789.
    What a major credit card? Yes I have a credit card.
    But I thought it was free?
    Oh, okay. My Visa is 22330780349952. Expires 04/10.
    Yes. My husband’s name is Michael. His social is 304-12-1234.
    Another credit card. Okay. My American Express is 3343322347754
    Expires 08/09.
    Okay. Yes, I’ll be looking for the information in the mail.
    My husband will be so excited.
    Oh, that’s a good idea.
    I’ll keep it as a surprise for now.
    Oh, thank you so much. I can’t wait to get my prize.

  36. Judy Stewart says:

    my prayers are with you and your husband Emily

    Day 27 poem

    But I didn’t do it
    No that is not what happened
    but she said what?
    oh no way!
    she is telling a lie
    oh you believe her over me?
    then let her clean up the mess
    I am out of here!

  37. Toward the best part of the day

    OK, eggs and bread.
    Milk too?
    I thought you got milk yesterday.
    Chicken potpie?
    Yea, that would be good.
    But don’t we have leftovers?
    You’re right. Three-day-old
    Tuna mac isn’t a good idea.
    My day? Not much to say.
    Except it will be much better
    In a half-hour when I’m home
    With you and a chicken potpie.
    I love you too.

  38. Lin Neiswender says:

    The Big Dump

    "Hi Ima"
    "Yeah I heard from Dave."
    "Sorry about that."
    "You got to start standing up for yourself."
    "But she’s a psycho."
    "Well, put on your Big Girl panties then."
    "You already know what I think."
    "Right, and I’m Mother Theresa."
    "Get back on track."
    "No, I mean it, ditch him."
    "We’ll be here for damage control."
    "Bye."

  39. S.E. Ingraham says:

    Really sorry to hear about your husband’s accident Emily. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Sharon Ingraham

  40. Ang says:

    Hello?
    Well, we were going to tell you
    Listen, can we talk about this later?
    I know we promised
    No, it wasn’t his idea
    I didn’t know
    I didn’t think
    Look, I’ve got to get back to work
    Yes, I’ve thought a lot about it.
    It’s all I think about.
    No, I want to
    Yes
    Yes, Mom
    Bye.

  41. Sue Bench says:

    Hello.
    Oh, okay.
    You’re finished with it?
    Sure, was it good?
    Thanks! I haven’t even shopped for it yet.
    I’d like to read it.
    I have a couple of weeks yet.
    You’ll want it back then,
    to use when you lead the book club.
    Okay, then.
    See you soon.
    bye

  42. Judy Roney says:

    Hi Honey
    Not much
    I’m trying to write a poem for the prompt.
    What time do we have to leave in the morning?
    You have to take the computer down tonight?
    No I’d better not, I’ll just make a sandwich.
    No I really can’t.
    Because I have to finish my poem.
    I can’t get behind right now since I won’t be online tomorrow.
    OK, see you later.
    Love you, too.

  43. Laural says:

    I don’t believe it
    Can’t be true.
    You did? Why?
    He did?
    Never.

    What did it cost?
    Not really.
    No, I can’t.
    I have to?
    I hate it.
    Why?

  44. Bill Toad says:

    "Help me! Help me!" cried the toad,
    "My foot is stuck right to this road!"

    "The tar was smooth like sheeted ice,
    I thought my time I’d surely slice,
    and summer skating seemed so nice!"

    Into the phone, he made a grown
    and made his true intentions known:
    "I was hoppin’ off to go and meets-ya.
    Now hurry, or I’ll be toad pizza!"

  45. Tonya Root says:

    Based on real experience living with a two and a half year old that loves the sound of her own voice! :-)
    ————————————————————

    "Mama"

    Mama
    Mama
    Where are you?
    Mama
    Mama
    What are you doing in the bathroom?
    Can I come in?
    Mama
    Mama
    Mama!
    How old are you?
    Mama
    Mama
    Mommy!
    What’s your name?
    Mama
    Mama
    Mommy!
    Mommy!
    Mommy!
    I love you!

  46. We’re So Sorry

    We were worried when you left
    And so sorry to hear about your dad
    Is there anything you need?
    Oh, not at all, honey, we understand
    You need time, most of all
    You’re so welcome. We thought that tree
    Would help you come to terms
    Oh. I guess we didn’t think -
    I can see how it might just remind you
    Of his loss
    Sure, sure
    Bring it to the office and we’ll see
    If someone can give it the care it needs
    Just call us if you need anything
    You’re so very welcome

  47. Emily – I’m adding my prayers to the many pledged here. For his being, your strength, and for everyone in your life to link hands around you both. You’ll be in my thoughts.

  48. Monica Martin says:

    (conversation with my best friend, Sara)

    "Hey girlie. How are you?"
    "How many bottles of wine have you had?"
    "That’s not too bad."
    "Your husband has what on his head?"
    "I didn’t need to hear that."
    "What is that noise in the background?"
    "Oh, good Lord."
    "How’s that paper coming?"
    "That’s probably not a good idea."
    "Do you really need more?"
    "Oh, I can’t wait."
    "I’ll talk to you later."
    "Bye."

  49. TaunaLen says:

    CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

    Hey, what’s up?
    Not much.
    Sitting at the
    coffee shop.
    Yeah, it’s my
    favorite place
    to people-watch.
    Yeah, lots’ of them.
    Mostly looking for
    the bathrooms.
    Lunch sound good.
    The coffee shop
    has soup.
    Tastes like a
    baked potato.
    Hey, I bought
    yesterday…
    it’s your turn.
    Yeah, and besides,
    you invited.
    See you here soon.

    TLS, April 2008

  50. Victoria Hendricks says:

    Middle of the Night from the Hospital

    "Hello…Ru?"
    "From the hospital…oh no!"
    "Oh the baby, the poor baby – I’m sorry, I’m just so sorry."
    "Oh sweetie, I’ll come, right now. Do you want me to come?"
    "OK, I understand. He’s the one you need right now."
    "But call me if you need me or he needs a break."
    "Hang onto each other. I know you will"
    "Yes, I know you’ll call when you know more.
    "I love you all three. Goodbye."

  51. Diane says:

    Lori, cute twist to your poem!

  52. Diane says:

    Oops! I was so intent in my thoughts that I posted with the wrong name! Sorry!

  53. Lori says:

    I’m late because I was out of town all weekend, but this one was kind of fun! Emily-my prayers are with you.

    An Excerpt

    "It’s just not working anymore."
    "No, he never listens."
    "Yes."
    "Yeah, I tried that actually. He said
    I did well but nothing’s changed since."
    "No."
    "No, he says it’s all in my head,
    that I’m just imagining things."
    "He just sits there. I talk, and talk,
    and talk, and talk, and talk, and he
    just sits there. I don’t think he even listens."
    "It’s been like this for years now. I need more."
    "Exactly, you are so much more understanding than
    he ever was, you meet those needs he doesn’t even
    comprehend I have, he won’t even miss me I bet."
    "Yes, I’m ready to make the move."
    "Ha,ha, yes, you’re right again. I know I’m ready."
    "You’re the one I’ve needed all this time, I just
    wish we’d met earlier, before I wasted all those years."
    "So you agree then, you’ll be my new shrink?"

  54. Emily says:

    Emily, I’m so sorry. I will be praying for you both.

  55. "Roosevelt"

    "I’ve got something to tell you."
    "I don’t want you here anymore."
    "Cause I don’t want you to be trapped also."
    "Yes, you would."
    "I know we’d be together."
    "I’d like to think we could rescue each other, but…"
    "You’re right."
    "Life is the only thing that could stop us."

  56. Darla Smith says:

    Long Awaited Phone Call

    "Hello?"
    "Oh my God! Is it really you?"
    "I can’t believe you’re finally home. When did you get back?"
    "Why didn’t you call me sooner?"
    "Don’t you realize how worried I’ve been about you?"
    "Yes, sweetheart, I do understand."
    "No, I’m not upset with you. I’m just glad you’re back safe and sound."
    "Sure! What time?"
    "All right. I’ll be ready then."
    "I can’t wait to see you too."
    "Okay. Bye."

  57. Yelp, Yelp.
    I’m gettin dressed to run out.
    No.
    I don’t know.
    Why?
    Maybe.
    Maybe not.
    Well, maybe so.
    Hold up, what?
    He did what?
    When?
    Hummmmmmmmmmmmmme, uh.
    I don’t know, I don’t know.
    Hold up, he said what?
    And he said what?
    When?
    He?
    He.
    You have gotha be kidding, me.
    Oh, tell me sumpthin.
    But?
    But.
    What?
    You know what,
    I ain’t got time fo all-a
    you and Mickymoon’s drama.
    Well, I know.
    I gotha go.
    Later….

    April 27 Poem
    H. Michelle Cooper

  58. Lisa McMahan says:

    HOLDING THE LINE

    Waiting and waiting
    And waiting still
    Holding on the line
    Not a real thrill.

    My patience wearing thin
    My temper arising
    Do you have any idea
    What I’m sacrificing.

    My time is valuable
    Very precious to me
    I’m ready to scream
    Please help me.

    The music sucks
    Putting me to sleep
    The least you could do
    Is play something deep.

    I’m tired of holding
    Got a life to live
    Let me speak to someone
    Before I do something unable to forgive.

    Quit coming on the line
    Quit thanking me
    All I want you to do
    Is please help me.

    Forty-five minutes on hold
    Now I’ve had enough
    Get someone on this line
    Before I get tough.

    Well, it’s about time
    Unfortunately for you
    Cause now I’m so angry
    There’s nothing you can do.

    I hang up in disgust
    Cursing the damn phone
    It’s a good thing
    I’m sitting here all alone.

    After all this time wasted
    Nothing had been done
    For again tomorrow night
    We will continue the fun.

  59. Christa R. Shelton says:

    BLIND DATE

    Hello?
    Why are you calling now?
    Where are you?
    Why are you doing that?
    I told you to hold off
    It’s all in your head, it’s ALWAYS in your head
    Okay
    What are you going to do?
    You’re going to have to tell him something!
    Just calm down and take a deep breath
    Oops, maybe that just made it worse
    Well, stay in there until you think you’re through
    No, I don’t
    You should have listened to me in the first place!
    Ask someone to go tell him what’s happening
    It can’t get any worse
    Yeah, that’s a brilliant idea
    Yes, I am
    You said that the last time!
    I won’t be around to find out!

  60. k weber says:

    talk to me

    hey, i just wanted you to know…
    no, this is not an emergency–
    not this time, anyway…
    i’m ok, just thinking out loud…
    i will get to that in a moment
    and i hope you are well…
    i was thinking about
    cutting my hair or baking
    something delicious
    or taking a bath
    and then looking
    at old pictures…
    yeah, i am sure
    i am alright…
    do you want to get
    together sometime?
    i am not much
    of a phone person,
    anyway…
    you can’t? i see,
    no big deal really
    i would just rather
    discuss the politics
    of dancing or the color
    mauve by some other means
    and i know you are busy
    and i am always here
    strapped to my fate…
    sorry, yes, i am being
    a bit dramatic…
    i didn’t mean to call
    so late, but i am lost
    in thoughts
    about the price of gas
    and laundry detergent…
    yes, things are weighing
    heavily on my mind…
    no, no… i am not
    at the end
    of a short rope
    or taking carbon
    monoxide into my lungs
    no, not tonight…
    if i tell you my address
    would you have some
    tea with me? oh, sorry
    i guess i shouldn’t keep
    you much longer since
    you are working…
    no, really, i am just
    fine and maybe
    i should sleep, perhaps
    a dirt nap? no, no
    i am kidding…
    shit, maybe i should
    let you go, something
    is going on
    down my street…
    sirens and lights…
    let me call you back
    in a bit, if that is alright…
    no, im ok… i think
    something happened
    just outside
    my house, near
    the mailbox…
    yeah, i should go…
    the police
    are knocking on my door…
    crap, this is insanity…
    i will call you back later…
    sure, yeah… your number
    was 9-1-1, right?

  61. Susan Reichert says:

    oohwho

    hello…
    yes…
    no…
    might..
    maybe…
    could…
    want…
    later..
    never…
    goodby..

    Susan
    April 27
    Day 27

  62. Lorraine Hart says:

    Sending you and your husband all the best Emily.

  63. Alfred J Bruey says:

    FINAL CONVERSATION (#27)

    Hello.
    What can I do for you?
    Go ahead – I’m ready.
    I don’t know – what’s her name?
    That doesn’t sound familiar.
    I’ve never heard of that motel.
    You can’t believe everything she says.
    You should learn to trust her.
    Almost changed your mind about what?
    Go ahead and shoot – killing me won’t change anything.

  64. Linda Hofke says:

    Emily,
    I will also be praying that your husband gets better soon.

  65. Linda says:

    Oh Emily… my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Peace, Linda

  66. Emily Blakely says:

    Doubt I can finish the month…spent the last 24+ hours in ICU after my husband suffered an accident. Had to be airlifted to a city 3 hours away (40 min. by air) Will get back and follow the rest of you once I am able to be home for a while. It has been a great month celebrating poetry.

  67. Shirley T. says:

    From an Open Window

    YO!
    Yes, you. Whatcha up to?
    Is that right?
    Well, this is private property and
    you’re within the 500 feet line besides.
    No kidding. Permission from the owner.
    Oh, yeah, I know the owner very well.
    Same as on that sign.
    Can you read? What’s it say?
    Very funny. P-O-S-T-E-D.
    Can’t spell either?
    Know what happened to the last guy
    who called me that? Look ov–, well, the skull
    was on that post. Coyotes must’ ve got it.
    Just move on. And keep the gun down.
    Mine’s bigger.
    Yeah, well I’ve got the game warden on speed dial.
    Don’t make me let the dogs out.
    Thought so. Bye now, don’t come again!
    ###

    "Walkies"

    Who’s a sweetheart?
    Yes, yes, oh I know.
    Yes, I love you.
    Oh, put your tongue back in your head, you fool.
    C’mon. Stop now. No more.
    Alright already, we’ll do that.
    Let me get the collar.
    Hold still so I can hook you up.
    Can’t wait, can you?
    Oooh! So excited. Just hang on.
    Wait ’til we get outside before you piddle.
    ####

    Hope conversation with the dog isn’t cheating, as long as they talk back,
    and mine always do, just not in English.

    Shirley T

  68. S.E. Ingraham says:

    As I’ve been playing catch-up so far, I’ve been posting my poems in the comments of the day they belong to BUT, I’ve been wondering if that’s wise since may they’ll never read now? In any event, I’ve noticed some poets are posting their catch-ups with their
    present day poems so here’s my Day 13 poem. Hope that’s okay.
    Sharon Ingraham

    Mickey Newbury’s “Lovers” inspired me to work on my own sad love song and while it is still very rough, here it is. I have the music written as well, so it really is a work in progress. A couple of the lines from Newbury’s song that make my heart ache and spur me on:
    “To think they once tore down a wall for a door
    But now they don’t speak anymore”

    Love Songs

    Listening to love songs
    Can move you
    And break you
    And make you unbearably sad
    If your love just left you
    Then love songs will make you feel
    Feel nothing but blue
    Blue and unbearably sad

    Memories will haunt you
    And hunt you to hurt you
    You won’t find a corner to hide
    You’ll wish for your lover
    To come back and love you
    And you won’t even know that he lied.

    And seen through the whiskey
    This one or that one
    Will do for the pain and the night
    To block out the memories
    Of listening to love songs
    That make you feel tired and bad.

    But whiskey wears off and so does the night
    Cause if anything, mornings are worse
    So pull on your dress –
    And don’t look in the mirror
    Or once again you will see
    You’ve been had

    Memory-making at night
    With just any old one
    Always ends up the same every time
    With you still broken-hearted
    Still feeling blue
    And you’ll still be
    Unbearably sad.

    S.E.Ingraham

  69. What do you want for dinner?

    Hi, so I’ll be leaving soon.
    Yeah I know it’s late, but I had to stay and call.
    Yes, I know what you think.
    Well, I’m sorry if you think that way, but I like doing this.
    No, you can’t talk to me like that. I’m your mother..
    I told you I’d give it six months and then look for
    something else.
    Can’t you understand that?
    Well, can we talk about this later?
    I know you’re starving. Did you eat lunch?
    Salad? Did it have any protein?
    You put a piece of chicken in it?
    Well, what do you want for dinner?
    No, we ate there two nights ago. Don’t you remember?
    Yes, and you always order the same thing.
    Yes, you do and we always say we’ll try something different
    and wind up with the usual.
    Ha, ha, ha, ha. You’re right. We could probably go in there
    and say "the usual" and they’d bring it to us.
    So where do you want to eat?
    Greek? It’s so far to go there.
    Yes, especially with gas the way it is.
    I know Rachel likes it. Do we always have to do what Rachel likes?
    So maybe we’ll eat home.
    We have no food? You mean no unfrozen food, right?
    He ate all of that? What about pasta? It won’t take that long to boil.
    Well then eating home’s out.
    Oh, when are you picking her up?
    Great! I’ll meet you at Starbucks and we’ll decide there.
    See you in about fifteen minutes.
    No I promise, I’m leaving the office
    now. I’m walking out the door.
    Of course, I’m in the elevator.
    I love you too.

    This is culled from hundreds of the same conversations I’ve had with my daughter about where to have dinner.
    Barbara

  70. Sally DiUlus says:

    APRIL PAD Challenge Day 27 Poetic Asides “only one-half of a two-person conversation, or what I like to call the "one side of a phone line" poem”

    PAD #27

    PUSH-ME, PULL-U
    April 27, 2008

    Howdy
    The real question is “When are you coming to visit us?”
    She’s growing up like a weed
    Gorgeous
    Thank you, what about your three and K?
    Writing Poems with a guy named Robert Lee Brewer called Poetic Asides
    Check it out
    Write one a day… pretty cool too. It’s a little bit like being a part of an extra large pizza — ALL the sections
    Are really good
    Yeah – Metaphors!
    Really? Like the Yeti?
    We already pegged you for beautiful ones here in the wild beyond
    What the heck is a vicuna? (tilde on the n)
    Yes, derecho is definitely a different word than derecha
    Swimming, you know for the bikini dream
    Yes, twice quite by accident, Spanish speaking
    No, no subtitles. We got the gist of it.
    Send me photos of what you’re working on
    Yes, you figure when you are coming… NNNNot is not an option.
    Ok, see ya.
    Sally DiUlus sdiulus@cefe.org

  71. Jolanta Laurinaitis says:

    Teenage Phone Conversation with Mum
    (Although this also reminds me a bit of how my conversations sound like with my Mum after a hard day at work)

    Hello?
    Hi.
    Yep.
    Nup.
    Yep.
    Yep.
    I guess.
    Iunno.
    I’m just tired.
    No I’m not watching…
    Okay Mum.
    Yep.
    Nah not really.
    Iunno.
    I said Iunno.
    Dunno pizza maybe?
    K.
    K.
    Nah you’re right.
    K.
    Yep.
    Love you too.
    See ya.

  72. Time to Hit the Ground Growing

    Try the cherry 100s.
    That’s the whole reason to grow your own tomatoes.
    The Romas don’t taste as good–but those cherry 100s.
    That’s what you want.
    Saute them in a little butter
    with some almonds and fresh basil.
    You can’t get better than that.
    You can put the lettuce and chard in now.
    For basil, you need to wait
    until it’s hot. Grow it in a pot
    now on the window sill,
    but don’t sink it in the ground
    until high summer–July.
    The cilantro will bolt but sow itself
    and then it will grow on its own time
    like gangbusters.
    You can grow potatoes now,
    but wait for the carrots and beets.
    Plant them in the fall.
    I need to start some parsley.
    We use up a lot of thyme.

  73. Diane says:

    All Boy

    It’s Keegan!
    Fine
    When are you coming home Grandma?
    Oh! There’s an octopus on Susan’s dress!
    Yes!
    Wait…there’s a dragon!
    I need to get my sword–slash! Slash!
    I need to get the dragon!
    There–now…
    Want to race to Wal-Mart with me?
    His name is Hot Wheels McDonald racing.
    He has smoke coming out of his smoke stack.
    Because it has smoke in it!
    1-2-3 GO!
    No. I’m just right here!
    There’s a fire fighter game on TV!
    Six-five-two…
    Oh, I have to go.
    I have to watch it!
    Good-bye!
    I love YOU!

  74. Corinne says:

    Yeah, today’s prompt is to write half a conversation.
    I’m not sure yet, I’m pretty stumped.
    I don’t know. This is the second time I’ve drawn a blank.
    Now, there’s an idea!
    I know. It just won’t be my best work.
    Yeah, it’s that perfectionist thing again.
    Anyways, let’s talk about something else. How’s Elsa?

  75. Bayou Smoke

    I cannot describe how much I love this photograph…
    You have a MySpace?
    I don’t have one.
    I guess not… Who’s that standing behind you there?

    Well, it’s kind of hard to get humongous boots
    to stand up of their own accord like that.
    Is she one of your victims?
    Yeah. Like, is there a noose around her neck?

    And was the original photograph like,
    a full body shot of the both of you,
    you standing there, looking away
    from the purpling corpse dangling from the rafters?

    Can’t deny that.
    A DMV? Are you kidding?
    So when was it taken?
    You’re talking about that picture

    as if it were developed in the fucking Dark Ages.
    They didn’t have cameras back then, kiddo.
    If everyone started doing that,
    I’d be out of a job, my man.

    I think it would be a little hypocritical
    for a journalist to start a pan-distrust
    of all things textual in nature.
    You think a bit differently

    than most people do, don’t you?
    No, they don’t, and that’s why so many of them
    all seem like shoddy clones of one another.
    You ever feel that way about people?

    Like, when you’re walking through the mall or something?
    So you’re selfish.
    Oh. So you’re just paranoid. I see.
    Well, we got ridiculously sidetracked

    from the original topic of conversation here.
    Yeah. Hm…one thing comes to mind.
    The smoke. It’s just hanging there, so perfectly,
    like a ghost stuck to the camera lens.

    Yeah, several times. And I have a good eye
    for good pictures, but not great pictures.
    Really? This is the original, though.
    Well…wow. Thanks.

  76. Carol Brian says:

    Good News?

    You’re kidding!
    I can’t believe it.
    Holy cow!
    Wait…until…I…tell..my…sister.
    What?
    Just…having…trouble…catching…my…breath.
    No…(wheeze)…it’s great news.
    (Wheeze.) Where is (wheeze) my inhaler?
    Yeah…(wheeze)…I’m…(wheeze)…oka—
    THUD!

    Carol Brian

  77. Sheryl Kay Oder says:

    Heather, that is so sad about your friend.

    Sarah, your phone conversation could have happened at our house. The consonants are the first to go.

    Linda, your last two lines are so funny.

  78. Beth Camp says:

    #27 One side of a conversation

    In the deep woods,
    black bear dances,
    white wolf pauses to howl,
    red fox runs through the forest.
    Rabbit hops behind trees, gray mouse quivers,
    white-tailed deer stops grazing.

    Brown turtle swims deep in a dream lake,
    fish leap in chorus, frog slides into cloud,
    butterfly flutters, cardinal swoops down
    bearing a branch of red-tipped leaves,
    turkey vulture flies over sacred mountains.

    Spider weaves dream web.
    Story teller spins tale.
    Green-throated hummingbird
    hovers close, closer,
    still for an instant.
    The moon listens.

    April 27, 2008
    Thank you for an evocative prompt as part of National Poetry Month.

  79. Kimberly K says:

    Hi honey.
    How are you doing, honey?
    You don’t recognize my voice?
    Yes, dear.
    Yes I know, dead.
    The other side, dear.
    It’s Valerie, sweetie.
    No joke. It’s me.
    I know it is strange, but I needed to speak with you.
    About your engagement, honey.
    Yes, honey. It’s not a good idea.
    You know what I mean. Not a good idea.
    You know I’m right, sweetie. He is not right for you.
    You know.
    That is why I am calling, dear.
    It’s never too late, as you can tell

  80. VS Bryant says:

    4/27/08 –

    It Wasn’t Meant That Way

    It wasn’t meant that way
    No that’s not what I said
    This is why I never tell you what is really there
    You always turn everything around it’s starting to be too much to bear
    Why do always think that you are right
    No! I tired do we have to do this tonight
    Here you go again always blaming me
    Fine, if that makes you feel better just give me my keys
    If that’s what you really want who am I to fight
    This is starting to be the normal route night after night
    Whatever, you have said all you had to say
    So what! That’s why I’m leaving telling the truth for you is rare

  81. Cari says:

    Forever Changed

    Hi
    I wrote a song. You?
    I was inspired.
    You
    Love.
    I think I was put on this Earth to love you…
    Are you still there?

  82. Sarah says:

    I hope my friend will forgive me for reproducing and rearranging her side of our recent conversations.

    Are You Really Bouncing on My Behalf?

    So is your jaw wired shut, or do you
    just have holes in your face?
    Wow, you’re getting an overhaul.
    I’m so excited for you!
    How does she look? I think
    getting sick is good sign.
    Oh my gosh! Fondue? So good.
    I dipped and ate to my heart’s content
    and desperately wished I was married.

  83. Rebecca says:

    Hello….
    I can’t hear you.
    Is that static on the line?

    What? I thought you said
    Ryan but that was Brian, right?

    I don’t believe it, that’s not like
    him.

    You always say I am naive.
    But really, you can’t mean it…

    How far along? NO WAY!
    Does her grandfather know?

    I would say–
    Don’t you think—
    STOP INTERRUPTING ME!

    I can’t listen to this anymore.
    She is my sister, after all.
    I might call tomorrow, or Thursday
    night.
    Bye. No I mean it. Don’t call.

  84. Linda says:

    On the couch

    You drifted off.
    Again.
    Why don’t you sit up?
    Breathe, and take me back
    To where we ended last session.
    Yes, yes… state soccer finals.
    You were nine?
    Hmmmm….
    Too bad you lost,
    you missed the goal.
    Oh.
    Ah…
    You father was upset.
    Because you lost the game.
    He yelled at you
    because you missed the goal,
    lost the game.
    How did you feel?
    Scared. Of course.
    And then?
    Yes?
    And then?
    Please,
    what happened
    next?
    Yes.
    He hurt you.
    Oh…
    God.
    Because you lost the game.

  85. Bruce Niedt says:

    [Sorry to re-post this, but the first one had several errors that need correction.]

    Customer Service

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisSondramayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and account number please?

    Yes, sir, I understand you’ve already entered it twice in the menu,
    but I need it again.

    Thank you, sir. Now what can I do for you?

    You say you have a disputed charge on your card
    for 37,024 frozen chicken Cordon Bleu meals
    from Frosty Chix Food Company?
    When did you order these?

    No need to be snippy, sir – I had no idea you didn’t order 37,024
    frozen chicken Cordon Bleu meals.
    What part of this charge are you disputing?

    All of it?
    Well, you will have to file a complaint with our
    disputed charge investigation staff.
    Please hold while I transfer you….

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisRobertmayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and account number please?

    Please, sir, no need to get upset.
    I do need your account number again.

    Thank you, sir. And for security purposes,
    may I have your date of birth?

    Your mother’s maiden name?

    Your current shoe size?

    Yes, sir, it’s all necessary.
    Now I understand you are disputing the charge
    of January 28th of this year to the Frosty Chix Food Company?
    And how many of this product did you actually purchase?

    Sir, I don’t know your personal business.
    I didn’t know that you had no need for any of the 37,024 units you ordered….
    I’m sorry, that you didn’t order.
    We will investigate this charge to determine if it’s erroneous.
    Please allow up to 120 days for processing.
    Meanwhile, there is a matter of a late fee.

    Yes sir, I know it’s assessed against the balance
    of the Cordon Bleu order, but it’s still a late fee and must be paid.

    There’s no need to question my intelligence or my parentage, sir.
    I’ll transfer you to our late fees and delinquent accounts department….

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisMarissamayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and account number please?

    No need to scream sir, I just need your name and account number.

    Thank you. Now how may I help you today?

    Yes, I see the late fee charged because you didn’t pay the charge
    the previous month for an order of 37,024 –
    sir, I didn’t know that you already discussed that
    as a disputed charge. But while that investigation is going on,
    you must pay any late fees and interest. And please be aware
    that if you don’t pay the late fee by the 13th of this month,
    we will assess a late fee on the late fee.

    I’m sorry sir, but that’s our policy.
    Now, is there anything else I can do for you today?

    Well, sir, I think that’s anatomically impossible.
    ThankyouforcallingMegaBigUltraBankCorpandhaveaniceday.

  86. Anahbird says:

    Puppet Master

    Hello?
    Oh hi! How are you?
    Oh?
    How did he lose the job?
    That idiot. He can’t do anything properly.
    You better!
    If she finds out, I’m holding you responsible.
    Then take care of it yourself.
    Call me when it’s done.

  87. Bruce Niedt says:

    Customer Service

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisSondramayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and account number please?

    Yes, sir, I understand you’ve already entered it twice in the menu,
    but I need it again.

    Thank you, sir. Now what can I do for you?

    You say you have a disputed charge on your card
    for 37,024 frozen chicken Cordon Bleu meals
    from Frosty Chix Food Company?
    When did you order these?

    No need to be snippy, sir – I had no idea you didn’t order 37,024
    frozen chicked Cordon Bleu meals.
    What part of this charge are you disputing?

    All of it?
    Well, you will have to file a complaint with our
    disputed charge investigation staff.
    Please hold while I transfer you….

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisRobertmayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and account number please?

    Please, sir, no need to get upset.
    I do need your account number again.

    Thank you, sir. And for security purposes,
    may I have your date of birth?

    Your mother’s maiden name?

    Your current shoe size?

    Yes, sir, it’s all necessary.
    Now I understand you are disputing the charge
    of January 28th of this year to the Frosty Chix Food Company?
    And how many of this product did you actually purchase?

    Sir, I don’t know your personal business.
    I didn’t know that you had no need for any of the 37,024 units you ordered….
    I’m sorry, that you didn’t order.
    We will investigate this charge to determine it it’s erroneous.
    Please allow up to 120 days for processing.
    Meanwhile, there is a matter of a late fee.

    Yes sir, I know it’s assessed against the balance
    of the Cordon Bleu order, but it’s still a late fee and must be paid.

    There’s no need to question my intelligence or my parentage, sir.
    I’ll transfer you to our late fees and dilinquent accounts department….

    HellowelcometoMegaBigUltraBankCorpmynameisMarissamayIhelpyou?

    May I have your name and social security number please?

    No need to scream sir, I just need your name and social security number.

    Thank you. Now how may I help you today?

    Yes, I see the late fee charged because you didn’t pay the charge
    the previous month for an order of 37,024 –
    sir, I didn’t know that you already discussed that
    as a disputed charge. But while that investigation it going on,
    you must pay any late fees and interest. And please be aware
    that if you don’t pay the late fee by the 13th of this month,
    we will assess a late fee on the late fee.

    I’m sorry sir, but that’s our policy.
    Now, is there anything else I can do for you today?

    Well, sir, I think that’s anatomically impossible.
    ThankyouforcallingMegaBigUltraBankCorpandhaveaniceday.

  88. Beth Browne says:

    How To Get Mom Off The Computer

    Mom, wanna see where I was at
    on Lego.com? It’s pretty cool.

    I just want to show you…

    I just want to show you what I was on.
    I don’t want to quit it. It’s that one, right there.

    The one that starts with an L.

    As in illegal?

    Oh.

    I think it was Lego Bionicles.

    Can I do a note thingy?

    What?

    Just quick…

    Mom, it’ll just be quick. Say ok.

    I really, really, really, really, really,
    really, really, really, really, really,
    really, really, really, really, really…

    What are you writing?

    You are?

    Whatever.

  89. SaraV says:

    Big News

    "Hello Grandma,
    I said, Hel-lo Grand-ma
    Yes, that’s what I mean
    I’m fine, I’m fine
    The doctor says
    The third week in July
    No I don’t know what it is
    I’m not going to find out
    It’s like opening your present
    Before Christmas
    I know.
    Hi Dad
    Yep, pretty exciting
    Here, you can talk to him
    He’s right here
    Hi again,
    Nope, don’t know what it is
    Heard the heartbeat
    Yes, it was really amazing
    Okay
    I will
    We love you too
    Talk to you soon
    Congratulations to you too!
    Love you
    Okay, bye. . .bye Mom, I mean Grandma!

    Sidenote: This is pretty much the actual conversation that I had with my parents when I called to tell them I was pregnant with their first grandson. And I’m a huge Dr. Seuss fan–this exercise reminded me of "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish" he had a pair of friends on the phone and a mouse had cut the line.

  90. LBC says:

    Eye Opener

    I’m always the one that gets in trouble.
    But, he pushed me!
    I was right in front of the goal, going to score, and he pushed me and I missed.
    Everybody was laughing.
    You never see what they do to me.
    You always yell at me.
    Yell at them.
    It’s not fair.

  91. Gratia Karmes says:

    Listen. It’s not you
    it’s me.
    Oh, you knew that?
    Not even a bit of an argument?
    Let’s be..
    oh. yes. friends
    that was what I was about to say.
    we’ve got so many..
    Oh, ok, sure
    you take that call
    and get back to me
    whenever.

  92. LBC says:

    Listen’ To A Child I Love

    Wh wh wh where have you been?
    I’ve been waiting for you.
    Yes, I know the bell rang.
    Do you like my headband?
    Miss Seymour’s
    Naa, she won’t mind if I’m late.
    L L L L Look at this.
    I’ve drawn the whole entire set.
    Here’s the mansion.
    Here’s the library.
    No, I’ve got time to talk to you.
    I miss you, you know.
    Did you see me sing in the talent show?
    Didn’t you think I was wonderful?
    You did?
    Really?
    Lynnie is finding me a new singing teacher,
    God, I need a singing teacher.
    "Is it written in the stars?"
    I think my voice sounds best at that part.
    Don’t you think Mr. Wiley is cute?
    I know you like him.
    Hahahahahahaha
    I’m going to tell your husband.
    Hahahahahahahaha
    Did I tell you I miss you?
    Well, I mean it.
    Hey, did you see my key?
    Locker and gym locker.
    W e l l, I have trouble remembering my combination.
    So….. they gave me a key.
    Sure, come on.
    Miss Seymour will love it if you come to class with me.
    There’s candy in the drawer.
    Hahahahahahaha
    Maybe you could get us some.
    No, I’m just joking.
    Hahahahahahahahaha

  93. S.E. Ingraham says:

    I Love You Too – Now Put Mommy on the Phone

    Hello?
    Hi Jilly, how are you honey?
    Who? Oh Geeze
    Sorry Bobby – you sounded like Jilly a bit
    How are you son? Is your Mom handy?
    No, you don’t sound like a girl
    Daddy heard you wrong
    Is Mommy there?
    Don’t cry Bobby
    Bobby?
    Bobby! Pick up the phone Bobby
    Hello? Hellooo
    Oh good – hi Ji-
    Hi! Who’s this? This is your Daddy calling!
    What? Oh hi, Chandra – I didn’t know you were over at our house
    Is your mother there by any chance or maybe Jilly’s Mom?
    What?
    No – I don’t think I travel too much…who said I travel – never mind
    Chandra – put one of my kids on the phone honey, that’s a good girl
    No Chandra I don’t hang my kids on hooks in the basement – that was just a joke sweetie – sheesh – what the –
    Chandra, could you be a really big girl and get –
    Chandra? Chandra – hello?
    Hello? Jesus H. Christ. Is there no adult there?
    Oh – hello Keisha – sorry – didn’t realize you’d picked up the phone
    What? Swearing? I wasn’t swearing –
    Oh. That.
    Well, yes. I can see how that might be offensive. I apologize for the J.C. crack. I wasn’t thinking.
    Keisha, is my wife there?
    What?
    No, I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything offensive to Chandra
    Listen, this is costing me a small fort—
    Pardon me?
    Well yes, I guess I have heard that one about the wages of sin and everything but right now Keisha? Could you just put my god-damned wife on the phone? Oh shit–sorry, sorry
    Keisha? Keisha?

    S.E.Ingraham

  94. Circularity

    It doesn’t really matter …
    What I mean is …
    Yes, that’s true, but …
    Well, that’s your opinion.

    Yes I understand …
    but I disagree with you.

    It doesn’t mean I don’t get it
    It just means I don’t agree.

    What ever gave you that idea?

    That’s absurd.
    I never said that.

    Fine.

  95. Deb Hill says:

    April 27 day 27

    Ewe what’s that on the floor?
    Someone’s gotta know
    Chocolate? Chocolate from what?
    B—–, did you just say it’s not from your nose bleeding?
    Yea, I’m can see it’s not blood it’s brown.
    Come on, really who knows where this came from?
    Who?
    A —–? is this your chocolate mess?
    Good answer.
    Did your ice cream’s nose bleed?
    I thought it was funny,
    Ok someone lets get it up.

  96. Carla Cherry says:

    Daughter to Mother

    Hi, Mom.
    I have a confession to make.
    About Grandma’s plant.
    The one that sprouts those pink flowers in early spring.
    It’s wilting.
    I really meant to water it.
    No, it’s not dead. Yet.
    I got busy is all.
    Yes, I know she had that plant
    for at least 20 years.
    Really? She bought it after Uncle Don passed?
    Oh no.
    OK, OK. Hold on.
    I’m pruning it now–
    Wait. I just disposed of the dried stems and leaves.
    Huh?
    It’s the kitchen sink you hear.
    I’m filling up her porcelain water jug
    right now so I can water it.
    Yes, I’m putting plant food in the soil.
    No, I’m pouring the water inside the pot after.
    Please, Mom.
    Stop crying.
    Don’t you know
    that nature often
    gives us second chances?

  97. Sara McNulty says:

    Hi Ma!
    No, it’s Sara
    SARA
    Fine, How are you doing today?
    No, not `pudding’,DOING
    Ma, I can hear Joan Crawford better than you. Can you turn it
    down?
    TURN IT DOWN
    She’s not seeing him anymore.
    What sound? Maybe it’s on your end.
    Not `urine’, I said YOUR END.
    No Ma, I swear I am not peeing while I’m talking to you.

  98. Tiffany B says:

    Conversation with a Photograph in a Frame

    Hi, Grandma.
    Not good.
    Yes, I know.
    I know.
    I do, but, it just hurts to talk to her.
    I do, he’s very good to me.
    2 months.
    I will.
    No, he isn’t.
    I’m sorry.
    They can’t all be perfect, Grandma, or Catholic.
    I know, Grandma.
    No, I don’t.
    I’m sorry.
    I took them all out after she threw them away. She was angry when she saw you here. She still hurts a lot too.
    We both miss you, Grandma.
    I love you.
    …and a hug around the neck.

  99. Open Mouth Insert Foot

    Hey!
    Those are mine!
    They’re my tomatoes
    Hey! I’m talking to you!
    Get your hands off
    my tomatoes
    Hey, are you deaf?
    Oh…I see
    You are

    I’m really sorry
    I didn’t mean to
    Let me help you
    with those
    Oh ok
    You don’t want me to
    I’m sorry
    I’m
    just gonna
    go now

  100. Linda Brown says:

    Ouch

    My back, or mostly my back.
    Yes, well, I was mowing the lawn
    and I leaned over to pick something up.
    No, but I did feel something pull.
    My neck is sore more than it hurts.
    Like a muscle is my guess.
    120/70. That’s perfect, isn’t it?
    No, not any leg cramps.
    Both low and high.
    I used some BenGay -
    it helped at the time.
    Seventy-two. I never had
    any trouble before.
    You’re right. Not as young
    as I used to be. Time I started
    taking things a little easier.
    This is the main reason I came.
    Now I can tell my wife that
    you advised me to hire someone.
    You’ve been more help than you know,
    doctor.

  101. Earl Parsons says:

    Bring Home Dinner

    Hello.
    May I speak to Kim?
    (pause)
    (terrible elevator music…….)
    Hi, honey
    I’m on my way home
    And wanted to see if I needed to
    Pick anything up at the store?….
    Dinner?….
    I didn’t get anything out….
    Frozen hard as a rock…
    Sure, I’ll pick up something
    What do you feel like eating?….
    Well, if you want me to pick
    I’d like a juicy steak….
    No steak, huh?…
    How about tacos?….
    Heartburn….
    Yeah, I forgot….
    Soup and sandwich sounds good to me….
    Had that for lunch?
    Two days in a row?…
    How about chicken?
    I’ll cook…..
    Great…..
    We’ve got sides at home….
    Dessert?….
    Something chocolate?….
    Chewy?…..
    But, not cookies?…..
    All right
    And a surprise?….
    Food or non-food?….
    Use my imagination
    Of course…..
    I’ll find something
    You gotta’ go?….
    All right
    Call me if you think of anything else
    I love you, too
    See you at home
    ‘bye

  102. Nancy says:

    This isn’t my real entry, but it was an obvious choice. I’ll have to fret over my more serious entry. After all, this is the same prompt Robert Browning used for "My Last Duchess." I’m sure he had more than twenty-four hours for that one-sided conversation.

    Rude

    Hey, I’m headed home. What’s for dinner?
    Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?
    I don’t know why I always and forget
    and call right here where I know the calls
    get dropped.
    Are you there? Okay, you’re breaking up
    Wait just a minute–I’m holding
    the phone up high out the window–
    if I lose you I’ll call back.

    Now, I have all my bars again–
    Hey you son of a–
    not you–this moron trying to pass me–
    What were you saying? No,
    I don’t care what you cook,
    but could you stop and
    pick up my shirts at the cleaners?

    I’d like a coke and curly fries–
    no, not for supper, I’m just at the drive-thru–
    something to–wait, wait–
    How much? Just a minute. Let me see if
    I can find thirty-seven cents
    somewhere in this car–
    Just a minute, hon–

    Who ya honkin’ at, numbnuts?
    I’m just trying to get correct change?
    Why ya got your panties in a wad?

    No, not you! I’m just talking to
    this guy in the car behind me.
    Geeze. Some people get so
    bent out of shape–

    Now what was I saying?
    Hello, hello?
    Are you there? Are you?
    Can you hear me now?
    Can you— hear–m–

  103. Heather says:

    Iain- Sorry I’ve misspelled your name every single time. Got it!! Heather

  104. Heather says:

    Patti- Thanks for the comment. Sorry about your dog. I’m a dog lover as well and would be crushed if I lost either of mine . . . especially the way you lost yours. I can imagine how hard that must have been for you. Nice poem- Heather

  105. Heather says:

    Linda- thanks for the comment. All the poems are fantastic. I’m happy anyone takes the time to read mine. Much appreciation to you and all.

  106. Jeanette McAdoo says:

    TWO FRIENDS MEET AGAIN

    Barb how are you?
    Great to see you again
    How are the kids?
    How is Clint?
    I heard your back to work?
    Talked to your mom last week,
    I wished her happy birthday.
    That’s OK I have to go too,
    Let’s have dinner next Wednesday
    Seven sound good for you?
    Great see you then.

  107. Lyn Sedwick says:

    Whassup

    Hey, BFF,
    Whassa the 4ll?
    No way,
    JK,
    ROF LOL,
    GTG Bestie,
    POS.

    TRANSLATION:

    What’s happening?

    Hey best friend forever,
    What’s going on?
    Are you serious?
    Just Kidding,
    Rolling on floor laughing out loud,
    Got to go, best friend,
    Parent watching/listening over my shoulder.

    Lyn Sedwick

  108. Linda Hofke says:

    Heather and Patti Williams, both your poems were so touching. I posted a joke of a poem and you 2 really put your hearts into it. Sorry for your losses.

  109. Elizabeth Keggi says:

    Circle of Love

    I called because you left your opal ring,
    the one Mother gave you that day when you
    were sad. Remember what she told us?

    I never knew Aunt Julia. She died
    before I was born. Do you remember
    her at all? She was so beautiful.

    I remember that patio, too! And the
    stream at the bottom of the yard
    where you taught me how to catch tadpoles.

    I think Aunt Julia’s ring is telling us
    to get together soon. We always wait
    so long, and email just isn’t the same.

    Come back in June. What do you say?
    We can celebrate Mother’s birthday,
    and there’s a garden tour in Milwaukee.

    Yes, she always loved to garden, even
    towards the end. It’s grown wild these
    two years, and the roses may not have
    made it through the winter. All my fault.

    What do you say?

    Elizabeth K. Keggi

  110. Joe says:

    One’s Better Half

    I have half a mind
    To tell them where to go
    Really? You think so?

    If they had half a brain,
    They’d figure it out.

    Yeah. These guys and their half-baked ideas.
    I know. Not NASA material.
    Their two-halves together don’t make
    a whole lot of sense, if you ask me.

    They’ll be half-shot by then.
    7:30 I’d say.
    You tell me. I mean, how long
    does it take to put a new barbeque together?

    That’s not a half-bad idea.
    OK, I’ll just go out the front door.
    See you shortly.

  111. Sheryl Kay Oder says:

    This is based upon a real incident, although the phone conversation is fictional. It is more mysterious than interesting. The last statement makes it even more puzzling, I hope.

    The Sidewalk Incident

    “Hello.”

    “Hi, Michael. Are you OK? You don’t usually call from work.”

    “the sidewalk?”

    Yes, that sounds simple enough.”

    “Until what?”

    “How did that happen? Where?”

    “Was anyone hurt?”
    “Will you get in trouble?”

    “Too bad they forgot that cap.
    Sometimes small things create big problems.
    At least your day was not boring.
    I’ll see you later.”

  112. The Plan

    What’s up?
    No.
    Why?
    That would be a bad idea!
    No!
    What the hell is wrong with you?
    I will not!
    What do you mean?
    Oh no.
    Ok, fine.
    324264.
    It’s inside.
    If you get caught, I know nothing.
    Ok, let me know and be careful.
    Later … I hope.

  113. Iain D. Kemp says:

    Elizabeth, I love IT!!

  114. JL Smither says:

    Solo Act

    We met when we both played the oboe in school.
    The flute, you did?
    She had a friend who was great at the flute.
    He came out soon after graduation.
    You’re right, no doubt.
    Not everyone who plays the oboe is gay either,
    obviously.
    I sucked at brass instruments.
    Couldn’t do the buzzing.
    You think using the spit valve was gross,
    try sitting in the row in front of the trumpet section.
    Yuck.

  115. Iain D. Kemp says:

    …and just before I hit the sack…

    I-A-I-N

    Hallo? Yes, its Iain, with two "I"s
    No, I-A-I-N, Iain,
    No, its I-A… Look its India, Alpha, India, November, Iain
    Yes that’s it.
    No It’s pronounced ian, like Ian only Scottish.
    Kemp. K-E-M… Oh you know that one?
    Yes I’ll hold….

  116. Hard subject today… great poems thus far
    Debra

  117. Iain D. Kemp says:

    Lots of good poems as usual. Having troble getting my head round this one…

    4 a.m. & Howlin’ Mad

    (Ring ring)
    - What?
    - Yeah, this is da Moose, Holy crap Ringo,
    - Its 4 in the morning!
    - Know I don’t know where my sister is
    - She’s seeing a goat?
    - Oh! A poet. Are you sure? What kind?
    - Cats, poetry and death, wow. Sounds messed up
    - What mom say?
    - Ravings of a lunatic, she’s not wrong…
    - Can we do this tomorrow
    - No, I told you, I’m sticking with the Yankees, man.
    - No, it is cos you is weird
    - No you can’t have my cousins number
    - Yeah, I’ll tell her…
    - You got a what? From Harrods?
    - Oh well, we had one of those but the bottom fell out…
    - Ok, you too.
    (Click)
    - Asshole!

  118. Linda Hofke says:

    In Bad Phone Calls please change my line "but when I pick up the phone" to "but when the phone rings" Thanks!

  119. Linda Hofke says:

    Bad Phone Calls

    Hello, is this Ms. Jones?
    Well, Ms. Jones,
    your cat is sitting
    on our fence and she
    doesn’t look quite well.
    I’m sorry. What did you say?
    Oh, you don’t have a cat.
    Really?
    And I don’t have a fence!
    Click.
    Hello, Mr. Hughes?
    Hi. My name is Susan.
    I’m doing a phone survey for school.
    Uh huh, the junior high.
    Do you mind if I ask you some questions?
    Great. Is now a good time?
    Okay, then.
    First question.
    Electricity usage.
    Is your refrigerator always running.
    It is?
    Well, you’d better catch it
    before it runs down the street.
    Click.
    Those childhood phone pranks
    were just,
    well,
    childish,
    but when I pick up the phone
    and some bored kid tells me
    that my cat is on his fence
    I answer "but I don’t have a cat"
    then at the sound of the click
    I stroke kitty until she purrs
    and I grin.

    Sorry. That’s all I could come up with. Yes, I know it is terrible to make prank calls but, what can I say….it’s my brother’s fault! He starting it :-) Compared to what kids do today, we were angels.

  120. Cheryl Wray says:

    "Talking to God"

    I can do it myself this time.
    Really, thanks for asking, but no thanks.
    I’ll be in touch.
    Well, that sucked. Didn’t quite go as planned.
    Could you give me some advice this time?
    Maybe you could stick around for awhile.
    Thanks for everything. That was awesome.
    (but then, invariably)
    I can do it myself this time,
    but I know where to find you if I need you.

  121. Dee IKJ says:

    The Phone 04-27-08

    It rings
    I answer

    Hello-
    Hello-
    Hello?

    I hang up

    It rings
    I answer

    Hello
    Yes I can hear you

    You were on your cell
    I know it never comes in here

    Why do you keep using it to call me?
    No I’m glad you called

    That sounds like fun
    What time?

    Line goes dead

    It rings again
    I answer

    Hello
    Yes, yes I love you too.
    Bye

  122. satia says:

    While On Leave

    Yeah I know it’s late and
    I’ve had too much to drink
    I just needed to hear your voice or
    Maybe I just needed to be heard.
    I’m not doing anything July 4th.
    I don’t like loud noises
    Firecrackers or fireworks
    Freak me out now.
    I leave in two weeks.
    What’s it like? Scary.
    It’s scary over there and
    I don’t sleep well.
    I guess I don’t sleep well here either
    But at least I can have a drink—
    Okay, too much to drink—
    When I can’t sleep.
    I have nightmares that keep me
    Up and scared because their scary.
    It’s scary. They’re scary. I’m scared.
    I’m sorry, I just needed to tell you,
    Needed to know you hear me.
    I hope you’ll miss me when
    I go back, when
    I’m gone.

  123. Funny

    Hello, can I speak with Jenny please?
    Yes, I undestand that and, who is this?
    That’s ok, you don’t have to say your name.
    That’s right, though I can’t believe she is a fake.
    Yes, but this is the number she gave me.
    I see though I don’t know how it could be.
    I got this number from her business card.
    I don’t think so, I dialed the number right.
    I did not. Can you tell me one more thing?

    Know what, I think this is the right number
    are you sure that you are not a joker?

    You are funny. You are out of my league.
    Ok but coming back to where we were
    can you tell me please if Jenny is there?
    Yes sir, I think that you are joking with me.
    Fine, but can you listen to me please
    today she called me from that telephone.
    No, there is no way that I can be wrong.
    That’s enough, her money I’ll have to keep.
    What, since I said money now she is in?

  124. Michelle H. says:

    I was caught red-handed
    …No, I didn’t say anything.
    I just stood there.
    …yeah, it made a sticky puddle
    …under my bed
    It was after midnight
    …No, I was so tired
    I forgot to put it away
    …yeah, she was mad.
    No, I can’t have ice cream for a week.

    April 27, 2008
    © Michelle H.

  125. Disconnect

    “I told you we would make it.”
    “It was only a matter of time.”
    “But why should I rely
    On only your stories?”

    When I was in Paris,
    The operator would tell me,
    “Racrochez s’il vous plait.”
    I would hear your stutters
    And wish for some centimes.

    At the hospital, the patients lined up
    To use the phone at the nurses’ station.
    The worst was when the gentleman
    Behind me in cracked glasses
    Told to me to hurry
    Because he had to call his parole officer.
    I hurried to disconnect
    And left you somewhat stammering.

  126. Hope Greene says:

    Tell her I’m not here.

    Hello! (With forced brightness)
    No, I’m afraid he’s not here. (With studied nonchalance)
    I’m not sure when he’ll be back. (With truth)
    Right. Well I can tell him for you. (With insincerity)
    I’ll be sure to tell him. (With the last scrap of politeness)
    No, that was the cat. (With averted eyes)
    I’ve already told you he’s not here. (With force)
    I’d rather you didn’t wait for him. (With chill)
    Much good may it do you! (With foreboding)

  127. halfmoon_mollie says:

    It’s the middle of the…

    oh no
    did they take him by ambulance?

    twice?
    Good thing they have those
    thingies in them

    I don’t know
    never been good at…

    but he WILL know
    and besides
    we haven’t spoken
    in three years

    what?

    that would be
    the giveaway
    I would think
    to go from nothing
    to a hospital visit

    I guess I could

    no, think about it
    that is not
    a yes

    hello?
    hello?

  128. patti williams says:

    Heahter – I knew those were your words as soon as I started reading them. God bless, you wrote a fine poem, one your friend would be proud of.

  129. Heather says:

    Lorraine, thanks so much. I try to think of the positive, that her suffering on this plane has ended. Selfishly, I miss her and the light she brought to my life. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Blessings- Heather

  130. Devon Brenner says:

    YOU’RE FEELING EXTRAVAGANT?

    Hello?
    Oh, Tax Rebate, it’s good to hear from you. How are you?
    Oh, yeah, me too, fine, fine.
    Oh, you know, same ol’, same ol’, teaching, getting the boy to soccer, writing a few poems.
    Yeah, really? That warm? It’s nice here too—just stopped raining.
    No, no, haven’t planted any flowers yet. Soon, though, if there’s a sale at the co-op.
    Maybe snapdragons?
    Oh, just paying bills.You know car insurance, dentist—
    Oh, no, not me, the boy. Apparently his teeth are eroding in his head.
    No, no, he doesn’t brush enough. If I were home more—And you? What’s up with you?
    Packing? Dang, that’s good to hear.
    You want to take a trip? Gosh, well, New Orleans maybe? It’s a short drive.
    No, I think pretty much everything’s back up and running again. The tourist stuff, anyway.
    But maybe we should just stay in town? Go to the shoestore, it’s time for new sandals. Well, and the car needs new tires. We could sleep in, get some of those bagels you like, you know, chill.
    What? You’re feeling extravagant? Want to meet new people? Mingle?
    Um, well, what about a party. Cook out, maybe kebabs. People will be glad to see you while you’re here, and since you’re not staying very long, well, how about next weekend?
    A party it is. Call me back, we’ll work on the menu.
    OK, see you soon.
    Bye.
    Yeah, me too. Bye.

  131. Lorraine Hart says:

    Heather…I’m so sorry for your loss…I understand…nearly eighteen years since my best friend of twenty years journeyed-on…I’m sorry for your loss…lean my shoulder in for a moment. Sincerely, Lorraine.

  132. Answered Prayers

    So, I was listening to the radio
    and they said to just ask you
    for what I want, so I’m asking.
    I hear the wind whispering in
    the trees, is that you?
    I hear the water running over
    the rocks, is that you?
    All right, so maybe that is you,
    but what I wanted was
    an answer in words.
    I see the sun coming out
    from behind the clouds,
    I’m assuming that’s your answer.
    So things will get better?
    I saw the sun go back behind
    the clouds, does that mean
    they’ll get worse?
    The rain is falling, so I guess
    that means that things won’t
    be so great.
    Hey, look, the flowers are unfurling.
    They’re really beautiful, yellow and orange
    and red, beautiful tulips.
    So maybe the rain wasn’t so bad.
    You knew that?
    Why am I not surprised.

  133. Elizabeth Keggi says:

    Permission

    –(knock! knock! knock!)
    –The mountain lion eats the two pigeons.
    –The penguin says, "Keep your doors locked."
    –If the third door is open, the snow leopard will enter.
    –Thank you, sir.
    –That’s right! The *real* Watson’s tied up in the back of the Hummer!
    –Put down you weapons and hands in the air!
    –No "buts" about it, "Sherlock", or whatever your *real* name is!
    –We have ways, "Sherlock." Now, move!

  134. Kateri Woody says:

    "What Wasn’t Seen in the Killing Joke: Conversing with the Commish"

    We want to welcome…
    no, but yes, though maybe there
    is more than one of me, how’d you like that?
    Wouldn’t that just be divine?

    I simply meant…
    of course it’s only me you ninny -
    but could you please stifle
    your pretty little mouth for a moment?

    Yes, yes, good.
    Welcome to the fun-house
    where you’re sure to go mad
    as mad as me and – what?

    Did the elephant woman not
    break your jutting jaw yet? Stop that incessant
    ‘pity me! pity me!’ whining and moaning,
    there is only so many voices that I can

    STOP THAT! Stop that right now.
    No, I will not let you go,
    your crying and whimpering make
    my heart fill with glee and you will not

    ruin that with your spite filled
    god-awful rouses and empty threats.
    Hold still for a moment, won’t you
    while I fit this on your dashing face.




    Oh dearest darling Commish-y
    you’re in for one helluva ride -
    now that I finally gagged you
    we can both enjoy this attraction

    with your daughter’s dying form
    with no distraction! Oh please
    please keep on crying and I’ll
    continue to try and bring you down

    to my own personal level of hell.

  135. Elizabeth Keggi says:

    Here’s one just for fun (couldn’t resist)…

    Catch Cat As Catch Can

    –That’s right, Bob, Watertown’s never seen the likes of this before.
    –What a day! Cats, you say?
    –Now, tell the folks, Bob, how on earth did these two cats get this idea?
    –Amazing. Their owner was going to *eat* them?
    –What about the third cat, Bob?
    –I see, so this cat ran away, too, and–
    –Yes! What a riot!
    –So tell me, Bob, this third cat didn’t take long to learn the act, now did she?
    –Amazing. Folks, if you want to see these three cats in action, they’re with the All Pets Circus touring the state, and they’re right here in Watertown as we speak.
    –Yes, Bob, a heartwarming story indeed.
    –Yessir. Two vicious poets, three talented cats, and a narrow escape. It doesn’t get any better than this. Back to you, Sheryl.

    EKK

  136. Matthew Abel says:

    Hello?

    Hello?
    This is he.
    I suppose I would.
    That much?
    Mm-hm.
    Mm-hm.
    I would have to talk to my wife.
    I guess so.
    No.
    No I don’t want to give you that.
    No, I won’t.
    Yes.
    No.
    Yes.
    No.
    Well, then we are at an impasse.
    You, too.
    Good bye.

  137. Heather says:

    Final Conversation

    Hello, Baby Frog.
    No, I’m fine.
    Just real tired.
    I’ve been so sick.
    I’ve been eating cottage cheese with jello and fruit.
    I’ve got plenty of water.
    Theresa’s been coming over checking on me.
    Those stupid doctors.
    Everyone who goes in there comes out diagnosed with Diabetes.
    I don’t have Diabetes.
    No, I’m not getting it filled.
    They pumped my stomach up with injections day and night.
    They’ve had me on this high-powered antibiotic that made me sicker than when I came in.
    No, they haven’t touched it.
    The doctor came in and said he wanted to chop it off.
    Can you believe it? He said chop it off?
    And I told him there was no way in hell they were taking my foot.
    I told them I wasn’t staying another minute I wanted my discharge papers and my friend was going to pick me up whether they had them ready or not.
    You should have seen the look on their faces.
    Of course, that asshole doctor came back in and told me that was fine but that I’d be back.
    I told him, oh no I won’t!
    So, Theresa’s been here wrapping my foot.
    I’m getting much better.
    My voice is stronger today.
    Can’t you tell?
    Rusty has been out of town.
    I’m not in the mood for music.
    No, it’s too hard for me to get up and down.
    You know how low that couch is.
    It’s okay, nothing good on anyway.
    You don’t need to come.
    I’m going to be okay, just need to rest.
    I gave Theresa money so my bills are paid.
    Heather, I’m going to be okay . . . but I’m really getting tired and my ear hurts.
    I need to get off the phone.
    No, I don’t want you to come.
    Don’t worry, I’ll be okay
    I Love you Baby Frog.

    I lost my best friend of 20 years, Claire, August 7th, 2007. She got a sliver of glass in her toe. Due to uncontrolled diabetes, she contracted gangrene within a couple of days of the injury. The fourth day she was hospitalized . . . spent a week in the hospital . . . came home, untreated (refused amputation) and was dead within two weeks. She has been the hardest loss of my life. She is soulfully missed.
    Love you, Mother Frog
    Baby Frog

  138. Susan M. Bell says:

    (I got two from this prompt. The first one is kind of my favorite. It’s based on an actual incident from back in the 80s when my friend Ryan dialed a wrong number. He ended up taking the lady out. He was so smooth.) :-)

    Wrong Number, Ryan Style

    Hi, is Steve there.
    Wrong number?
    Oh, I’m sorry.
    Well, you have a nice voice. Can I talk to you?
    No, I’m serious. You sound really nice.
    Do I sound like an ax murderer?
    I don’t know what one sounds like either.
    No.
    I’m a Marine.
    Nearly four years now.
    Yeah, I’m a short-timer. What do you do?
    Really? Cool.
    No, I’m serious. That sounds interesting.
    Yeah, it’s getting kind of late.
    Can I call you again?
    Great.
    Sure. Maybe we could get together for coffee one day.
    That’d be great.
    Well, I hope you have sweet dreams.
    Goodnight.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    “I don’t think so.”

    No.
    You can’t change my mind.
    I don’t think so.
    Over my dead body.
    Give me a break.
    You ain’t got the balls to…
    Yeah, right. I don’t…
    If you’d stop interrupting me.
    Excuse me?!?
    Go ahead.
    Sure, try it. I dare ya’.
    Yes, I’m laughing at you. You’re so pathetic.
    Yes, I said pathetic, darlin’.
    P-A-T-H-E…
    Oh, you do know how to spell.
    If she wasn’t standing right here, I’d spell a thing
    or two for you.
    Sure, like you really care about her feelings.
    Go to hell you moron.
    *click*

  139. Maria Jacketti says:

    The Animal Communicator to Her Cat

    Tuna? Of course what honest feline
    would turn down that fish?
    No, peanut butter? Perhaps with lemon curd?
    Currant jelly?
    Ah, yes, I know, your sister the applehead
    Siamese has gotten into the jalapeños again.

    I am what?
    Too eschatalogical?
    Well, I suppose that is better than scatalogical, Beloved Puss.
    That is the song of the litter-box.

    Yes, lately I have begun licking
    sauce from my hand
    just as you do,
    and you, Tiger so redolent of jasmine
    blossoms,
    have become much more of a
    college professor
    and cinnamon striped shaman.

    Maria Jacketti

  140. Omavi Ndoto says:

    "Attempt #9"

    What do you want?

    No. Really. What do you want?

    Ok I’m listening.

    No.

    No.

    No.

    Listen I really don’t care if…

    Yes I remember our last conversation
    And I told you not to…

    Yes what I said then I mean now.

    No.

    I really don’t feel …

    Will you please stop interrupting me?

    But I don’t feel that way anymore.

    No, what we had is just that we had it.
    And now it’s gone.

    Yes I made mistakes and I accept them.

    I don’t want a second chance.
    I don’t want to go through this again
    And neither should you.

    Yes I loved you, but that’s not…

    Yes I remember the feeling, but…

    Yes I know that you love me, but…

    Listen!

    That’s the problem you always talk and never listen.

    This is not about me,
    I really don’t care anymore, I just want…

    As I was saying, I just want…

    I just want to be left alone!

    Yes, that’s exactly how I feel.
    Goodbye.

  141. Michelle H. says:

    I blamed her for the accident.
    It’s a “b” not a “p”.
    I bragged about you to all my friends.
    The store is closed.
    I’m not.
    We dined on chicken.
    I’m not looking, Sam.
    Is it what?
    No.
    I dragged my doll through the dirt.
    Filed
    Filed
    I lined the drawer.
    Slammed
    Smiled
    Used
    Okay, high frequency words
    Undone
    Unkind
    It’s not “ed” though.
    Are you Ready?
    Unknown
    Habitat
    Animal
    That’s it.

    April 27, 2008
    © Michelle H.
    (This was hard for me ~ so I did my daughter and I practicing her spelling words. Can you tell where she told me to stop putting the words into sentences? lol)

  142. Essa Bostone says:

    April 27 prompt

    HALF A CONVERSATION

    So I was like,
    Why can’t I be queen?
    Why do I always have to be a drone?
    And she’s like,
    because I’m the queen.

    Good for the whole nest?
    Why should I care about the nest!
    What did they ever care about me?
    I break my back
    hauling every day
    day in and day out
    and they take what I carry
    I hardly ever see any of the good stuff
    I bring back.

    I’m sick of it.
    Sick
    of running up and down
    of sludging through mud
    of hanging out in my den
    when
    hers is so much better.

    And
    it’s dangerous!
    How many scouts haven’t returned to the nest?
    I lost count
    Back at the beginning of the thaw.

    Me dangerous??!!!
    How can I be a danger to the whole nest?
    There’re millions of us.
    Why would they even bother?
    What could they do to me?
    Little me.

    So what if they hear me.
    Anything’s better than this.
    Do you think they care
    about what one ant says
    to another
    out of the whole lot of us?

    It’s just her.
    She wants to be queen
    forever
    There’s no way she’s going to give up that sweet seat.
    No way.
    She gets to have babies
    gets fed
    groomed.
    What do we get?

    Sure.
    Go run back to work
    You’re afraid of what I’m saying.
    Can’t handle it.
    Coward!
    No wonder you look so old.
    You eat fear everyday
    Never get to do what you really want to do.

    Well not me.
    I don’t care if it’s dangerous.
    I’m going out and make my own nest
    Nobody’s going to stop me.
    Goodbye!

  143. Laurie Kolp says:

    Goodbye

    Hello?
    Yes. I’ve been trying to reach her all day.
    What?
    Oh my God!
    What happened?
    Where did she get the gun?
    It didn’t have to end this way.
    Do the kids know?
    What can I do?
    I know, I loved her, too.
    Okay…let me know.
    A family plot? She’d like that.
    Oh my God!
    I can’t believe she’s dead.
    Why didn’t she give us a clue?
    I just talked to her last night.
    Yes. She acted like everything was alright.
    I know.
    Talk to you soon.
    Goodbye.

  144. Heather says:

    Torture

    Hello?
    Oh, hi.
    I didn’t recognize your number.
    Yes, Grandma, (sarcastic and eyes rolling) I know who you are.
    I know.
    I’m sorry I just couldn’t make it.
    No, she didn’t call me.
    Mom called on Thursday and said that it was 11:30 on Saturday.
    It’s a five hour drive and Tom’s out of town.
    I told her I couldn’t make it.
    What?
    Yes, I will.
    I promise.
    I know.
    No, I’m not punishing you.
    I’m so sorry.
    It’s just people talking, I was getting a makeover
    Why was Buddy crying?
    I know but it didn’t say I would be there.
    It said that I hoped to see you soon.
    I’m so sorry.
    I know you miss him.
    I’m so sorry.
    I will, I promise.
    Not this week but maybe the next.
    Yes, I give you my word.
    Two days?
    I know.
    Sure.
    That sounds fine.
    Grandma, is something else going on?
    Are you okay?
    Did something happen at lunch?
    Right.
    I know you’re lonely.
    Let me see how things look.
    Okay.
    I know you love me.
    I’m not punishing you, really.
    I need to see what I can arrange with Tom
    I’ll give you a call next week.
    Okay?
    Love you
    Too

  145. Teri Coyne says:

    Away on Business

    You sound tired
    I’m in bed too
    t-shirt and underwear
    how is that sexy?
    oh I see
    really
    hmmmmm
    sounds nice
    tell me again
    oh my
    hmmmmm

  146. Joe says:

    should read "not that I don’t trust you"…darn

  147. Joe says:

    Just checking in

    Please do what I tell you
    For once, do what your told
    One day you’ll be just like me
    Yes, some day you’ll grow old

    I’m just looking out for you, honey
    "I want you to be safe" is why
    Just listen to your Father
    consider it "advice from an old guy"

    Thank you darling
    You’re not that old too
    That’s why I’m calling
    Just checking in on you

    No, it’s no that I don’t trust you
    You’re still my baby girl
    You’re going to do just fine
    Now go conquer the world

  148. Rox says:

    Sunday Morning Coffee

    Good morning, Sunshine.
    Yeah, Caller ID, I knew it was you.
    It’s 6am on a Sunday; whaddaya want already?
    Breakfast? You called at 6am for breakfast?!
    Laugh all you want; it’s only funny
    when you’re the one making the call.
    You’re the one who called; *you* figure it out.
    Those are all fine with me.
    No, I’m not picking; you decide.
    Sounds good. What time?
    You know I can be ready quicker than you.
    No, I don’t need a shower; what time?
    Okay; meet me there?
    ‘Cause you talk too much,
    I dressed while you were talking,
    I’m ten minutes closer,
    and I need the coffee more than you do.

  149. Kevin says:

    Stop Talking

    If that’s the case
    I’ll just stop listening.
    I’m not listening.
    You’re still talking.
    You’re still talking.
    I’m not listening.
    I’ll be hanging up now.
    I’m hanging up now.
    Stop talking. Stop talking.
    I’m not listening.
    You’re still talking.
    I’m not listening.
    Later, alligator.

  150. Heidi Kortman says:

    What happened last night? Well…

    The phone call much too late last night was no one I hold dear
    No words of blissful pleasure were given to my ear
    "Is this B93?" he said, I truly don’t know why…
    I told him "No, your number’s wrong", and bid the man "goodbye".

    I might have turned down hot romance, I guess I’ll never know
    But I’d prefer my brand new beau to treat me to a picture show.
    And if he’d like to honor me by making some request,
    He’ll call the Blue Lake station, because Teddy Wilson’s best.

    I love the sounds of gospel groups, and a’ capella choirs,
    Of big band jazz and steel drum jams, this lady never tires.
    I have no discs of Charlie Pride, no singles of Faith Hill
    And if you leave requests with me, be warned, I never will.

  151. Bill Kirk says:

    Is Anyone There?
    By Bill Kirk

    Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

    Is this June?

    Thank God I finally reached you.

    June?

    It’s me, Marge.

    You don’t sound yourself at all today.

    What’s that do-do-do beeping sound?

    Whatever it is, it’s irritating as hell.

    Yeah, that’s exactly the number I dialed!

    What do you mean, you’re not available?

    No. I don’t think I reached your number in error!

    Oh, for God’s sakes.

    June! It’s me.

    How could I forget your number?

    Hang up? What do you mean, hang up?

    Dial again? Forget it!

    I dialed it right the first time!

    June! Don’t you recognize my voice?

    What the… I don’t know anything about code A33!

    I can’t believe it. There’s that do-do-do again!

    June. If you don’t want to talk, just say so.

    Oh, forget it!

    You can call me when you’re good and ready.

    Yeah, do-do-do right back at ya.

  152. Rodney C. Walmer says:

    Don, your poem made my day. That was truly great.

    Rod.

  153. Kim says:

    Hello?
    What? Huh? Oh.
    Hey, you.
    Yeah, I know; it’s 3:00 here too– in the morning.
    What? No! It’s ok.
    I’d rather hear your voice than sleep anyway.
    Not much going on here. The kids are doing great.
    I’m slipping out of the bedroom now so the youngest doesn’t wake.
    Yes, we’re keeping busy. I’m gonna take them to the zoo.
    They say the cutest things! Sometimes
    They sound just like you.
    So what’s it like in Bagram?
    I know. You can’t really say.
    That’s all right. Never mind.
    Anyway.
    What? You’ve got to go now?
    All right.
    Remember to call back soon . . .

    In a week or two . . .

    When they let you . . .

    I love you too.
    Goodbye.

    I miss you.

  154. Lorraine Hart says:

    The Weekend Call

    We’ve been following your
    politics down there–
    I don’t think you’re ready
    for a coloured or a woman–
    a nice, strong military man
    now that’s what you need–
    What do you mean you
    don’t want to talk
    politics with me?
    You know who’s really at
    the bottom of all this–
    of course–it’s the Arabs!
    Here, let me hand you over
    to Daddy and he’ll tell you
    all about the Arabs–
    What do you mean you
    don’t want to talk
    politics with your dad?
    Yes, the weather’s warm finally–
    They’ve ruined England you know–
    Here it’s the Jamaican Mafia–
    What’s that–my roses?
    Well they piled the snow so high
    against the fence I thought
    we’d have a terrible flood–
    What do you think about
    politics down there?
    I don’t trust a coloured man–
    and that woman shouldn’t,
    couldn’t be in charge–
    What’s that banging sound?
    You have to go and see?
    Alright darling–Gobless–
    I always look forward
    to your calls–
    God is good–and the Devil’s
    not bad to his own–
    Love you!

  155. mjdills says:

    Hello
    Good morning to you too
    Feeding the cat
    Walking the dog
    Thank you
    It fell from its nest
    When the sun came up
    No, Mom, they didn’t touch it
    You’re sure
    We’re staying in
    You all have a good time
    Yes, tomorrow we are back at it again
    Life.
    Sorry
    Just having a Sunday
    You too
    Bye

  156. Joe says:

    Poem # 1

    No means No

    No comment
    No comment
    No comment
    Are you deaf?
    No comment

    Poem # 2

    Oh-Oh

    I don’t believe it!
    Who woulda thought?
    Aren’t they both married?
    Oh.

  157. patti williams says:

    Gracie’s End

    You found her?
    Oh thank goodness!
    I’ll be right there!
    She was hit?
    We’ll go straight to the vet then.
    Why would we not need to take her?
    Is she not bad?

    Oh God No!
    No!
    No!
    No!
    (Screams)

    (In memory of my white boxer Gracie – after almost 4 years, can’t tell you how much it still hurts)

  158. Liza says:

    The Void

    You really need to get-
    No, really, you need to stop.
    You deserve better than this.
    Yes, I know you feel bad about it.

    What? That’s not right at all.
    Don’t say that about yourself.
    You need to find something
    that makes you happy.

    This guy is bringing you down
    to be saying things like that.
    Hello? Are you still there?
    I’m on my way.

  159. Connie says:

    I Hear You

    Heeeeello!
    Heeeeello!
    Heeeeello!
    Are you ready to get up?
    There you are smiley girl.
    Big hug!
    What?
    Not today. We went to Wal-mart yesterday.
    Yes, you got your haircut and it looks very pretty.
    Friends? You miss your friends. Maybe we’ll send them
    the cute puppy note cards you bought yesterday.
    Okay, here we go. Slide. Help me out here.
    Now, okay, zip with the transfer board.
    Let’s hurry! I’ll hug you after you get in the bathroom.
    Watch your toes!
    They’re you made it. Lift up, buttercup.
    What a hug bug you are!
    Okay, here’s your wash cloth.
    You silly! You untied my belt! Are you laughing at me?
    A big pile of trouble with a smile on it—that’s what you are.
    Well, I see those tickle toes.
    What cute little feet.
    Where did you get those feet?
    I heard that, you little imp.
    Sometimes I’m glad I don’t know what you’re saying.
    I need to get your meds.
    I’ll be right back.

  160. Rodney C. Walmer says:

    Outcomes

    She did what
    after we told her
    not to go there
    Guess, she forgot
    I’ll scold her
    be nice if she’d listen
    but she does not care
    How bad is it
    That’s just too much
    It will come out of her allowance
    otherwise, she’ll forget
    she just uses that as a crutch
    who has she met
    no way
    not in this lifetime
    that’ll be the day
    no child of mine
    after the damage she caused
    She must think
    money grows on trees
    if only once she paused
    just the think
    consequences, she just never sees
    she just does what she wants
    without concern for the outcome
    well, after today
    she will learn to think some
    we know she won’t
    it’ll just go in one ear
    we tell her don’t
    and she just does not hear. . .

    ©Rodney C. Walmer 4/27/08 Prompt #27 This is based on many conversations regarding the
    behavior of my kid. :-)

  161. Rodney C. Walmer says:

    Wrong Number
    Yes, what can I do for you
    You want to speak to who
    I’m sorry,
    this must be a wrong number
    oh, no don’t worry
    I was only in deep slumber
    but, my sleep will keep
    Where are you calling from
    so, it’s long distance
    I have family there
    if’ invited, I’ll come
    sure there’s resistance
    it’s family,
    there’s always a scare
    I like the sound of your voice too
    What did you say you do?
    I can’t say
    I’ve never been in a long
    distance relationship
    but, you do sound nice
    this could be the day
    That I take a dip
    if your as sweet
    as I surmise
    For now, I need to run
    you have the number
    give me a call someday hun. . .

    ©Rodney C. Walmer 4/27/08 Prompt #27 a totally made up conversation. Never happened. But,
    hey, I think all men, dream about that wrong number who turns out to be well, I’ll leave that to
    the imagination. :-)

  162. LindaTK says:

    Again

    Hello?
    What’s up?
    You gotta be kidding! Again?
    What time did he get in?
    Aren’t you getting sick of this?
    I know.
    I really do understand, hon, but…
    She’s four…she understands more than you realize.
    I know you’re her mother!
    Hon, you called me, remember?
    I am here for you to listen anytime, but…
    I know.
    Yes, but…
    I know.
    It’s your journey, sweetie, but remember
    I am far older than you and even if you
    don’t want my advice, I am your mother
    and don’t want you and my sweet grandchild
    to suffer needlessly.
    OK.
    Promise me this…
    If he hits you, you and that child get out of that house.
    Then call me.
    I love you too, Sweet Child of Mine.

  163. OK,
    Here is mine for today….
    A challenge for sure…

    Wrong Number

    The phone is ringing,
    I answer…
    Debra Elliott
    yes, speaking…
    You’ve got to be joking
    It can’t be…
    When?
    Where?
    Wait a minute…
    Are you sure?
    No…
    You’ve got the wrong number…

  164. Don Swearingen says:

    The Muse is Alive, and I’m Outta Jail! Help!

    "This is Dan Blather reporting."
    The Muse has been seen cavorting
    In Mineral Palace Park
    With a child and a black-and-white lark
    Bunting, a beautiful bird,
    And then she’s been seen
    With the current Head Dean
    Of the university bunch
    Of teachers at lunch.
    After which he was known
    To have scribbled a poem
    To the youngest professor,
    A Miss Lila Contessor.
    This new revelation
    Has caused a sensation,
    And the strangler as been released
    From jail. But the mob is a beast.

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