SoCal Part Deux: An Anecdote is told, albeit poorly. Writing Stalls. Music Still Awesome.

Brief Awkward, Hard-to-Follow Personal Anecdote: Today my friend sent out a group email detailing how his cell phone had gotten “really wet”, subsequently died and now he needed everyone’s numbers again. Surprisingly, that isn’t the best part of the story. Being narcisstic and easily (self)amused, I thought it would be gnarlyclever to respond to his number request with my own email to the entire group saying this:
“If it’s cool, I’m going to pass. I guess I never felt comfortable with you having my # in your phone after the “incident”.
Oops. Did I unintentionally hit reply all?”

You’re a clever little devil, I whispered to myself after sending it, and slapped myself five, then went about figuring out what accoutrements to put on my Boar’s Head Sausalitio turkey sandwich at lunch. But in the brief time that I’d gone out of my room to study the contents of the fridge (I drink f***ing one % milk, Dad, not two!!!), I received five emails, all from people who’d assumed they were responding solely to my friend, but were, in fact, responding just to me; asking questions about me, making comments about my (alleged) sexual proclivities, telling my friend I was weird, and/or relaying intimate personal details about their own lives in the coded, specific way that only makes sense between friends.

Although none of the emails I unintentionally received were that bad, I was horrified that someone would send another email to me detailing their Kevin Alexander hatred or worse, sending a link to my Facebook photo album. I thought about sending out another group email warning people about what was happening, but that seemed confusing and lame and Boy Cries Wolf-esque, so instead I’ve done nothing but bitch about it on my blog in a story that–now that i read it again–isn’t all that sweet . Lesson: re-read your blog entries before posting.

New website I’m unhealthily obsessed with:

Old Instant Messenger Screen name, which created some confusion as to my gender: kevina9

How, friends, does anyone do any work in SoCal? The weather is offensively good, the people are “sun kissed”, even people walking around the (outdoor!) malls are vaguely athletic. Today, for example, I tried to write several times but Frank kept asking me to do “activities” because he’s my “guest” and he’s “sick of watching me sift through Youtube videos from the 80s all day pretending to work on my novel”. Not to mention, he was in a bad mood because Fed Ex tried to steal the flat screen TV he just purchased. It’s a longer and more complicated story than that, but after the skill and hilarity of my email anecdote, what would be the point? So instead of writing, I went outside and spent several hours in the hot tub complaining about how hard my life is, which was annoying in itself because you can barely hear anything over the tub jets.

Fear ye not, though. Frank only has one more day of visitation rights and then I will have no excuse but to resume my writing routine. This will give us something to talk about. And thank God, because things are getting awkward, huh? But until that time I guess I have no choice but to continue in my quest to bring you the most musical of diamonds in the proverbial rough. Todays edition comes straight from 1985, the year that brought us the creation of the Internet’s Domain Name System, that movie where Harrison Ford pretends to be Amish and the release of New Coke. Coincidence? Yes.

Join me next when I find my father easily filling in the answer to a crossword puzzle clue involving the Spice Girls.

These Dreams go on when I close my eyes,
every second of the night


PS- pictured below: Heart’s Nancy Wilson wins a David Bowie-in-Labyrinth look-alike contest while falling in then out of water, electric guitar in hand.

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4 thoughts on “SoCal Part Deux: An Anecdote is told, albeit poorly. Writing Stalls. Music Still Awesome.

  1. Mary

    I think that’s how the band gets their hair to stay up. Love it or hate it, at the very least you can probably thank Heart for inspiring Glenn Close’s stylist(s) on Fatal Attraction. 🙂

  2. Sandra Darr

    Absofreakinglutely. That’s how I spent last weekend. Camped out with a closed laptop and Writer’s Market 2008 next to me while I caught up on seasons one and two of The Hills because season three premiered on Monday night. I think you will find Heidi and Spencer dangerously fascinating. Audrina is hot, but a bit on the toothy side. And Lauren, well … she’s keeping it real as the all American girl with amazingly swell fashionista stylin’. I think that after you get all caught up with the kids from The Hills, there is nothing more you will want to do than write a letter to Spencer.

    I personally have many questions for this cat. Like, where does his money come from? What does he do all day, other than scamming on Heidi? Does he find himself attractive? I think that he is what Homer Simpson would have looked like in his youth. Does his think sporting blonde stuble from his chin makes the ladies melt? How does he know Brody Jenner? Does he have any STDs?

    Good old Spency does not appear in season one, so you could skip that season. But, there’s some good dish in there that you may want to catch up on.

  3. Kevin Alexander

    Sandra–I’ve definitely seen The Hills, but i feel like I was in Eastern Europe for a good amount of the time when the show really "jumped off" so now I feel insufficiently dialed in… are you recommending it? Should I spend the next 72 hours renting seasons of said Hills?