SoCal Vanity License Plate of the Day: “One Nub”…?
Underrated Haribo Gummi Bear Color: Clear
It’s Friday night in SoCal. The clubs, as I imagine, are jumping jumping. The tide is high or, possibly, low. And somewhere in SoCal someone with semi-long blondish hair is drunk saying, “Dude, today I caught this sweet crest down into the blue room” while Jack Johnson’s ‘Bubbletoes’ plays softly in the background.
I just got back from dinner with my brother, my father, and my friend Frank, who has come out to spend his final week before returning to law school out in the sunny SoCal weather. I had soft shell crab. My father asked me three times when I’m going back to Boston, which I skillfully avoided answering by picking and choosing my eye contact. Anyway, I’m currently watching Frank download Michael Bolton songs because, as he put it, “do you f***ing need a reason to download Michael Bolton? Sorry it’s not Akon, loser”.
I have yet to start writing and don’t really have anything of value to add other than these 5 observations:
1. Every guy in San Diego looks like some version of Dane Cook.
2. The plastic surgery industry in SoCal is still alive and very much thriving.
3. My brother is flat lying when he says he can both stand up and “turn” on a surfboard.
4. We may or may not have seen Latoya Jackson tonight and–if it wasn’t her– that’s almost more terrifying bc then it was a woman who actively sought to look like Latoya Jackson.
5. Even with vicodin, foot surgery is never awesome.
Like I said before, friends, I’ve got absolutely nothing valuable to add to the literary, intellectual, or social-emotional world. So instead I’m going to leave you with quite possibly the. GREATEST. MUSIC. VIDEO. OF. ALL. TIME. courtesy of our friends at Youtube and my favorite year, 1987. The dancing is top notch, the outfits are uber-trendy and it just goes to show that if a man in America wants to jump into a chain link fence for no apparent reason, he can do that. Eat it, Communism.
Join me next time, when my father finds out I’ve “lost” my ATM card.
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down