On Twitter, Technology, and Lady Internette

I, friends, am not tech savvy. Yes, technically I have a blog, which, in 2002, would’ve very nearly made me a candidate for some venture capital cash money, but this is the same blog that took an entire tech team a week to explain to me how to get the ghosts of web pages past to stop deleting my posts. But now the Internette — that crazy, sexy, unpredictable woman of the web — is back with more demands. You see, friends, for my editorship at Thrillist, we are now expected to Tweet. In other words, your boy has entered the wild, unpredictable techno storm of Twitter. And I have no idea what I’m doing.

For those of you who don’t own stock in Sun Microsystems, Twitter essentially allows you to send very quick online messages to your “followers” (friends, ex-GFs, Parole Officers, i.e., people who have some (non) compelling reason to want to see what you’re doing) so that they can know what you’re up to, right now! Like, right this minute. So if i was tweeting in real time, I’d say: “Writing my WD blog for the first time in a little while. So behind!!” or “Drank a moderately large amont of water today” or “Did you Spencer hit that dude on the Hills?!? Major OMG!” And for whatever reason, people read these things. And sometimes comment back. And so it goes.

From a work perspective, I understand why we need to seize upon the Twitter — it’s the hot thing going right now, the pegged jeans of 2009, and you need to be fluent across all these social networking mediums to really get at the kids, who are the key to advertising dollars, which’re the key to getting a salary, which is the key to being able to afford Haagen Daaz Brown Sugar Ice Cream. But from a personal perspective, I can barely stand to read my own dream journal, let alone people’s Facebook Status Updates or Tweets. I mean, I understand why people do them — we are in the sharing age, and no thought or task or accomplishment goes unheralded, albeit via a fleeting 140 character or less post — but still, did you need to know that I just ate six (red!) grapes and part of a Heath bar? Well then, good. I’m glad you’re concerned.

In other news, after a several month drought, I’m going to have two large pieces in next month’s Boston Magazine — one about prep culture’s sticky, red panted resilience in New England, and the other a back and forth with a female writer about relationships in Boston. The first piece comes nearly a year in the making, after going out last Memorial Day and dutifully recording the doings of the popped collar, whale pantaloon clad Figawi revelers on Nantucket; and the second was a series of emails that I probably should’ve spent more time rereading. Either way, this is totes going to give me hella topics to Tweet about.

And oh yeah — if you are f-book friends with Ms. Internette and you want to join up on Twitter, I’m at Thrillist Boston. Get at me. And other friends, please pass your opines and experiences and other commenting gear toward the section labeled Comments. Eyes straight ahead, people.

Ain’t Gonna Hurt,

Kid N Play

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About Ben Sobieck

Benjamin Sobieck is a Wattpad Star and 2016 Watty Award winner. He’s best known on Wattpad for Glass Eye: Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective, the Watty Award–winning sequel Black Eye, and When the Black-Eyed Children Knock & Other Stories. Four of his titles have appeared on Wattpad Top 100 Hot Lists, all at the same time.

17 thoughts on “On Twitter, Technology, and Lady Internette

  1. Christine (Boyle) King

    Noooo way. It IS you! I stumbled on an article recently, saw your name, and thought hmmmm could it be?
    Email me — we need to catch up! I’m working in So. Natick now if you’re still in the ‘hood.
    Oh and I’m CMKing on Twitter…

  2. Laurie

    Hi, Kevin! Glad you’re on Twitter. I’ll look forward to following. I’m at @mizwrite, and I mostly look for people to chat about books and writing with. It’s fun — c’mon in — water’s not too chilly. (And Maria Schneider’s got the hang of it, so follow her around for awhile … She keeps things professional but interesting.)

  3. Tom

    Hey, Maria dropped in! How cool is that?

    Anyway, yeah, no Twitter for me yet. It took me a while to get the hang of Myspace, and then that was forsaken when I got the hang of Facebook (which is really friggin’ useful when you’re trying to organize band practice!). I may mess with the Twitter thing at some point, but none of my friends are into it yet. I’m getting zero pressure to screw with it, and I’m taking that as a sign that right now I shouldn’t be screwing with it.

    Now, if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to go check out some Youtube videos on Tal Wilkenfeld. Maybe I’d Twitter if *she* were doing it…

    Over easy,

  4. Kevin Alexander

    Oh come on Pat! I think everyone over the age of 24 feels intimidated by all of these new-fangled social connecting websites, but, like going in the cold ocean, you just sort of jump in there, and wiggle around a bit, and after a few minutes of excruciating awkwardness, you get warmed up. At least, I think. I don’t actually know, because I’m (pretty) scared of waves.

  5. Pat Marinelli

    Oh, Kevin, thank you so much for explaining Twitter to me. People have be asking me to Tweitter and I’ve been putting them off. I still haven’t dealt with Facebook. Heck, I’m just working a website.

    I feel so behind the times. I feel so techno challenged. I feel so darned old.

  6. Christine DePetrillo

    I don’t Twitter, but I’ve gotten on Facebook. I’ve actually had several reunions with folks I went to elementary and high school with, which was mucho weirdo (we all still look the same somehow), but fun just the same. It’s also a nice way to keep up-to-date with relatives who live out of state without having to ring up a sizable phone bill. And when I don’t feel like talking to them anymore, I can just hop offline and pretend that my Internette connection fizzled in the middle of my cousin in Texas explaining in detail the taco he had for dinner.

  7. Erin

    Good point. I wonder if the celebrities of the olden times really were classier, or if they just appeared that way because there were less forums available for them to demonstrate their un-classiness.

  8. Kevin Alexander

    It really is baffling. Can you imagine Frank Sinatra doing this sh*t? Like "hangin’ with some mob buddies. Totes hungover! Maybe I won’t sing today.. JK. LMAO!"

  9. Erin

    Yesss! I’m so glad you are going to be on Twitter! I suspect once you get the hang of it, you will love it. I was skeptical about it, too. But I’ve been on it for a week now and it’s awesome. What people choose to overshare is really fascinating to me for some reason. Especially celebrities. I just really love reading about what Ryan Seacrest has for lunch, or what color tie he is contemplating wearing on American Idol. (One thing I learned on Twitter so far that totally crossed the lines of TMI: John Mayer doesn’t always wash his face).

    I am going to offer you a Twitter recommendation. Follow Michael Ian Black, the comedian. He’s really turned Tweeting into an art form.


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