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Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Three

Categories: This Writer's Life.
Brief Unrelated Sidenote: As a regular viewer of Elizabeth Hasselbeck “The View”, I feel it’s my duty as a journalist to relay the news that Rosie O’Donnell is leaving the show after only one year. Fox News is speculating that it’s because of obscene comments she made this week, while MSNBC made a clever “The View Not So Rosie” play on words. Either way, sh*t is going down. A semi-informative link relating everything inconsequential about this is below:  http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/25/tv/main2725526.shtml
Now normally I don’t weigh in on these matters, but if ABC knows what’s good and hot and potentially off the hook, they will quickly replace Rosie with Raven-Symoné Pearman of “That’s So Raven” and “Cosby Show” fame. You heard it here first. Now on to the real thing:

Words: 1122
Feelings: Dissatisfaction with output, Curiosity about the effects of ADHD, Ambivalence towards footwear at Journeys and Foot Locker.

Sins: Wrath, Unfettered Avarice, Sloth

Fears: I can’t possibly put together back to back days of productivity, I’m avoiding pushing the plot forward for unknown psychological reasons stemming from my childhood, I didn’t bring nearly enough underwear on my trip.

Thoughts: Remember yesterday? Remember how much I wrote? As Mike LaFontaine said in A Mighty Wind, ‘wha’ happened’? Well, I’ll tell you wha’ happened: It’s called the mall, friends. The University Town Center in La Jolla to be exact. There I was, hard at work smoothly operating my computer, maximizing my touch typing skills, about to get to an important, climatic part of the book when my dad said, “Hey, I’m going to the mall, do you need anything?”
Do I need anything? Me? Well, no, of course I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go walk around an outdoor mall with no good stores and a decent skating rink. I quickly invited myself along.
“But you need to write,” my dad said, almost pleadingly, potentially because he didn’t want to sit in the car with me and listen to me talk about having to write.
But, alas, I assured him I would write later and stay quiet in the car, and not bother him about changing his Smooth Jazz 98.1 to something with a little more “edge”.
Three hours, two shoe stores and one Sports Chalet purchase later, we went back to the house, where I sat in the hot tub reading and “brainstorming” until dinner. A late night push to up my word count was for naught, as I ended up face down stretched out on an ottoman in my brother’s room. Not good, friends, not good at all.

Question to Ponder: Does Fox News truly believe that, as their headline suggests, “Disco Family Dance Parties” are “popular all over the country”?
Seemingly Obvious Moral: Don’t write your blog in a room with multiple tvs turned to news stations.

Until tomorrow, when I attempt to “bring it”.

The Only Living Boy in New York,

Simon &,
Garfunkel

PS- Pictured Below: Raven telling Bill Cosby about the perils of over-saturating the junk bond market, and Raven now, just being so, so…oh f*ck, I forget how the saying goes.

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8 Responses to Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Three

  1. danton Vale says:

    I got free shipping while I shopped at Kohls store on Couponalbum.com..!!

  2. Trina says:

    I knew the second I read the headline about this latest "View" news that it would affect you. Now to see how Rosie O’Donnell unconsciously has affected your writing life… :)
    As for the other thing, (and yes, this really is the other thing), your Dad (or at least your portrayal of him) is wicked funny.
    You have me constantly wondering if he is this funny in real life. And he gave you some of his talents.
    Or if he is not funny in the least. And your tremendous talent for comic dialogue creates ‘funny’ out of a normal Dad.
    You’ve got gold there, man. (Your dialogue and your Dad).

  3. Megann says:

    Don’t hate lesbians, Kevin. It’s not nice.

  4. Meghan says:

    I have some ethical issues about joining this online cheerleading squad but… GOOOOO KEVIN!

    Remember, it’s an average of 2000 words a day, so that one super-productive day really counts as a day and a half.

    Poetry is so much easier,

    M

  5. I agree, I enjoy Raven-Symoné Pearman. I also really enjoy The Cosby Show. Oh, you know what other drama is going down? Apparently there are a couple of people on Grey’s Anatomy who are leaving because of some disagreement. I heard it was about racial slurs, or someone taking their cupcakes. But either way, sh*t’s hitting the fan!

    But the fact is, you wrote, and that’s all that matters.

  6. Krysta Stacey says:

    Hey Kevin-
    I have a 5 pg arguement paper I need to write and have been putting it off for 2 weeks, wanna trade?

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