Message to Hollywood: Cast My Dog in a Karate Movie

After the success of the new Karate Kid movie, Hollywood is likely looking for lots of family martial arts films. May I throw out an awesome suggestion? Cast my dog Graham as THE KARATE DOG! (I know – have you ever heard a better idea in your entire life??) As evidence of his kung fu skill, I direct you to the Karate Kid-esque pose he’s making here with minimal help from his dad.


NINJA POSE.

This can be a very low-budget film. Graham works for cheap. Let’s go over a few of the pros and cons of such a making this film with my pooch in the lead role:

PRO: People love dogs.

CON: My dog has no real karate or kung fu skills.

PRO: You could use the pun “Kung Fu-N!” on the movie poster.

CON: Graham is perhaps the laziest dog on the planet. He has been deemed “unmotivable” after his one-on-one with Tony Robbins. 

PRO: Look at how fluffy he is!

CON: Look at how flabby he is.

PRO: During downtime, the cast & crew will be able to pet him and attempt to pick him up (bulky body may not make this possible).

CON: If you turn your back for one second, he will likely devour everything on the Craft Services table and put the production further in debt.

PRO: Dude, I dunno. I’ve exhausted all his good qualities.

CON: Graham’s range of emotion only goes from “hungry” to “sleepy” to “Oh-my-God-I-have-to-poop.”

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4 thoughts on “Message to Hollywood: Cast My Dog in a Karate Movie

  1. Chuck

    Thanks Teresa. I just saw this morning that there is already a movie called THE KARATE DOG so I think we may just produce a different film called JUDO DOG where the villain is a tae-kwon-do-bermanpincher.

  2. Teresa Rhyne

    Now that I am actually beginning the great agent search, I turn to your blog frequently and have been meaning to tell you how incredibly helpful it has been. This post was also very instructive. I now know that Seamus’s entre’ into film will have to be in a different genre. Clearly Graham has the karate angle all covered.

  3. Kristan

    Dude, if you get Graham the hookup, you gotta try and work Riley in too! His face is MADE for movies/TV! (Dunno about the rest of him…) I always thought he should work with Miley Cyrus — they could be Miley and Riley!

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