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Message to Hollywood: Cast My Dog in a Karate Movie

Categories: Dog Stuff.

After the success of the new Karate Kid movie, Hollywood is likely looking for lots of family martial arts films. May I throw out an awesome suggestion? Cast my dog Graham as THE KARATE DOG! (I know – have you ever heard a better idea in your entire life??) As evidence of his kung fu skill, I direct you to the Karate Kid-esque pose he’s making here with minimal help from his dad.


NINJA POSE.

This can be a very low-budget film. Graham works for cheap. Let’s go over a few of the pros and cons of such a making this film with my pooch in the lead role:

PRO: People love dogs.

CON: My dog has no real karate or kung fu skills.

PRO: You could use the pun “Kung Fu-N!” on the movie poster.

CON: Graham is perhaps the laziest dog on the planet. He has been deemed “unmotivable” after his one-on-one with Tony Robbins. 

PRO: Look at how fluffy he is!

CON: Look at how flabby he is.

PRO: During downtime, the cast & crew will be able to pet him and attempt to pick him up (bulky body may not make this possible).

CON: If you turn your back for one second, he will likely devour everything on the Craft Services table and put the production further in debt.

PRO: Dude, I dunno. I’ve exhausted all his good qualities.

CON: Graham’s range of emotion only goes from “hungry” to “sleepy” to “Oh-my-God-I-have-to-poop.”

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4 Responses to Message to Hollywood: Cast My Dog in a Karate Movie

  1. Chuck says:

    Thanks Teresa. I just saw this morning that there is already a movie called THE KARATE DOG so I think we may just produce a different film called JUDO DOG where the villain is a tae-kwon-do-bermanpincher.

  2. Teresa Rhyne says:

    Now that I am actually beginning the great agent search, I turn to your blog frequently and have been meaning to tell you how incredibly helpful it has been. This post was also very instructive. I now know that Seamus’s entre’ into film will have to be in a different genre. Clearly Graham has the karate angle all covered.

  3. Chuck says:

    Riley can be the villain. Mwahahahaha.

  4. Kristan says:

    Dude, if you get Graham the hookup, you gotta try and work Riley in too! His face is MADE for movies/TV! (Dunno about the rest of him…) I always thought he should work with Miley Cyrus — they could be Miley and Riley!

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