Cover Band Soap Opera: Types of People at Shows, Vol. 1

Looking through all the pictures of my cover band shows, you start to see the same things over and over again. In other words, a lot of people who come to our shows fall under a certain grouping, and these posts will help show you some of the characters we see over and over again. Here is Volume 1. Note: These are all real photos from my cover band shows. (I even know some of these people.)

1. THE POINTER

Usually men, Pointers are guys who know how to have fun. And how do they express their happiness? Through a finger point. Some might shoot an index finger to the sky, others right at you. These gents are usually rockers, and have a tendency to request Motley Crue and AC/DC no matter how many times you tell them no. Pointers (homo sapien rockus pointus) are a common sighting at shows and are generally harmless. However, Pointers can turn violent after serious alcohol consumption (such as the two-beer dude on the left below).

    

2. TONGUE MEN

Tongue men are pack hunters, and find an excuse to stick their tongue out at anything or anyone. It’s a sign of intoxication, but also a sign of an illness I call “D-Bag Fever.” They tend to show up in large quantities or not at all, depending on the venue. The rarest of the tongue men breed is the Burger King Greaser (homo sapien tongus beefus). Below you will enjoy a rare sighting.

3. THE TERMINATOR

An exceptionally rare find, The Terminator (homo sapien WTFus) is often the first one on the dance floor, for better or worse (usually worse). These people are most noted for the out-of-place sunglasses, but are also identifiable by having shirts tucked in, and sometimes wearing a fanny pack. Ironically enough, they are harmless creatures but seem to frighten others away. 

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3 thoughts on “Cover Band Soap Opera: Types of People at Shows, Vol. 1

  1. Lisa Lane

    Great observations–and phenomenal pics to go with them! In your next volume, I do hope you’ll cover the twenty-something hippie-dancer (homo sapien trippus outas) and the ever popular drunken skank (homo sapien shamelus).

  2. Donna Gambale

    Hilarious! The scientific names are spot-on. I used to categorize the creepy 50-something-year-old men who used to hit on 19-year-old me (and my friends) in Australian bars during my semester abroad. One breed of creeper involved muscle tees (despite the beer gut) and the occasional pair of sunglasses-with-straps.

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