Cover Band Soap Opera: Lead Singer Falsely Tells Crowd I Love Hanson; I Am Not Amused

Had a good show last night down on the river. It’s fun to place outdoors in the summertime.  At least, it was fun until our lead singer went into bozo mode. 

It all went down like this: Two girls approached the stage and said it was their birthday. Their song request?  “Mmm Bop” by Hanson.  Me, the bassist, and the drummer all immediately say, “No way.”  Lead singer, being the wild card that he is, then announces to the entire audience that we will now play “Mmm Bop.” The rest of the band, including me, crosses our arms in defiance. Our message is clear: If you wanna sing the song, Mr. Lead Singer, you’re on your own. Good luck!

So he starts to sing the song alone, and, naturally, it sounds empty and awful.  The crowd is trying to help, but it’s still terrible.  Feeling bad, I just hit a chord. I don’t know how to play the song so I just hit a D major. It sounds right. So I just blankly hit the next chord – G major. That’s right, too. Hmmm. I attempt all four chords of the chorus and, somehow someway, they’re all the correct chords. Crowd kinda digs it. Birthday girls are happy. Success. I sheepishly smile.

Our little jam ends and that’s when the lead singer quickly tells everyone that I actually play the song all the time and it’s probably my favorite song ever and the only song on my I-Pod. I try to manage a weak comeback into my mic but only stammer for a moment, making things worse. Desperate, I scream at the drummer to start “Dani California” already so people will forget about this Hanson debacle. He smirks and starts.

That is the last – the last time – I ever try to help out on an awful request.

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